GG's 100th Birthday Party 10/21/06

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

Book review and a new photoshop pic

I finished Beach Road last night. Not a bad book. I quite enjoyed it. Basically, it is a murder mystery with all the court room drama in the last third of the book. If you are into that kind of book, you will really enjoy it. The twist ending is a good one. It didn't make my jaw drop like it did to Jessica who read this right before me, but it was definitely not an ending that I saw coming at all. I should probably start giving my books ratings if I am going to be doing these book reviews. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give it about a 7. A good fast read.

Played with a photoshop tutorial today that I found online. This tutorial aimed to take a photo, and make it look like it is graffiti on a wall.

So I took these two pictures:


...and turned it into this:


I know I am new to this whole photoshop thing, but I think I am getting better. I think for Christmas, I am going to ask for a photoshop tutorial book for beginners that has LOTS of pictures. I work better with pictures. I have a photoshop book, but it is nothing but text, and am having a hard time getting into it.

BTW, if you haven't tried your hand at the movie quote quiz on the post below, be sure to give it a try. Have a good weekend everybody.

I missed you...

I'm talking about my laptop of course. All week, I have been without my laptop because the powed cord broke. I've had to use the computer in one of the bedrooms. I've missed being able to type, surf, and chat in front of the tv on the sofa. Lazy? Sure. But it makes me realize how spoiled I am. So welcome back to my life Mr. Laptop. I'm so happy you got a new cord today.

The trailer for Season 6 of 24 was released yesterday. I am sure this is just for the first handful of episodes, but it sure looks fun! Can't wait! God, I hope they kill Chloe! Worst character on tv, maybe ever.




You know what I haven't done in a while? A movie quote quiz. For those of you new readers, I will give three quotes, all from the same actor. You just name the actor and what movie he/she said them in. But like always, please, no cheating. If you don't know it, you don't know it. I don't remember who I have and have not used before, so it could be a repeat actor...

1. "Ain't gonna be no rematch."

2. "I woke up. Why don't you? You're an asset. An expendable asset. And I used you to get the job done, got it?"

3. "Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of the bastard's eyes out though"

Asshole

So today, I had scheduled a pickup of TONS of old clothes with the Sacramento Association for the Retarded. Jessica and I cleaned out our closets and had a huge pile of clothes we didn't want anymore. When I talked to the people for pickup, I asked if I could have them in a pile outside since I didn't really have big trash bags to put them in. They said it was ok. All I have are the bags that fit in our trash can under the sink. Those aren't that big.

So right now, the door knocks and I answer it:

Me: Hello

Ass: We can't take those like that.

Me: When I called, they told me it was ok since I didn't have big enough bags.

Ass: No, they didn't tell you that.

(OK, so excuse me. Were you on the phone with me)

Me: I guess I have some bags they could fit in.

Ass: Well, they go in there or we aren't taking this!

(Listen here, cock knocker, I am donating clothes to you! You don't try to threaten me like that. I almost, ALMOST, said to forget it and I would call some other worthy non-asshole charity. I guess what kept me from doing it was guilt over telling a charity that I have stuff for them and then take it back. I didn't want to punish the charity because of one man's asshole-ishness.)

Me: Fine, let me open the garage and I will be right out with the bags.

Ass: ...

So I go outside with the bags and start filling the bags, wondering if he is going to get out of the car and help. Luckily, he did because if he hadn't, I had made up my mind to finally say forget it. 8 or 9 bags later, we were done.

Me: Ok, so you got it from here?

Ass: Got it.

Me: Ok, then, thanks.

Ass: ...

So, I called the number on the receipt and complained about him. They said it would get back to his supervisor. They apologized and said they hope it doesn't prevent me from doing future donations.

Me: Don't count on it.

If you live in the Sacramento area, help me boycott the Sacramento ASSociation for the Retarded. There are plenty of other worthwhile charities that need out help.

Tasteless...

I'm speechless. This is about as tasteless as you can get. You have to read this utter grbage...

From Washingpost.com:

Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh today attacked actor Michael J. Fox for inserting his halting voice into the U.S. Senate campaign in Missouri, suggesting Fox was "acting" in a commercial where he's shown shaking while endorsing the importance of stem cell research.

"He is exaggerating the effects of the disease," Limbaugh told listeners today, encouraging them to go online to watch Fox's commercial, which first aired Oct. 21 in St. Louis during a World Series game. "He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act."

The ads bear witness to the actor's unmistakable decline from Parkinson's, which the actor has suffered from for a long time, and harnesses that physical degeneration into a political message.

"What you do in Missouri matters to millions of Americans, Americans like me," Fox said in the television spot, which will continue airing throughout Missouri this week.

"This is the only time I've ever seen Michael J. Fox portray any of the symptoms of the disease he has," Limbaugh said. "He can barely control himself."

Limbaugh said Fox could "control himself enough to stay in the frame of the picture" and to keep "his eyes right on the . . . teleprompter. But his head and shoulders are moving all over the place."

"He is acting like his disease is deteriorating because Jim Talent opposes research that would help him get cured," Limbaugh said, adding that Talent only opposes "fetal stem cell research, but not adult."

"This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox," Limbaugh said. "Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting."

HOLY CRAP! Did he just say that? I mean really, does it get much worse than that? What a fucking asshole...

Monday

Clever title huh? Sorry for the lack of posts since Thursday. My A/C cord on my laptop took a dump on me and only is going on whatever battery I have left in the laptop. I ordered a new one today, but I am sure it will be a couple of days until Fed/Ex gets it to me. Sure, I have the desktop computer, but one can get really spoiled using a laptop from the living room for so long.

Saturday, we had a birthday party to celebrate Jessica's great grandma's 100th birthday. I am sure she will have pictures later, but I have to say, that is simply an amazing achievement. What a lady! It was really a great time.

No word on a government job yet. Almost every job I applied for back in August/September hasn't even closed yet, so I could be waiting a while. There is one test I want to take that Jerry over at One Sided War suggested, but I am still waiting for it to open again. Talk to one lady who works for some state recruiting office who told me to not get discouraged. She said, with my background and education, I WILL find something, but it will just take time for someone to find me.

I do have a new dilemma though. I have been working more and more for Jessica's stepmom's medical billing agency. In fact, I really like it. She mentioned that someone who has a business similar to her's is thinking of selling it. She mentioned that I oculd buy it, and then we could kind of go into business together. I say kind of because I would have my clients, she would have hers, but we could help each other when needed. In my head, it sounds like a great idea. It would be my own business from home, doing something I like, and it is pretty profitable. It is not like I would be trying to start up a new business from scratch. The clients are in place. It is just scary to try another venture like that. I left a good teaching job to try my hand at real estate. When the market took a dump, I had to get out. It just scares me to try another job like this rather than getting a regular old office, 9-5, white collar job. I don't know. I just need to see how it all looks on paper I guess. What do you guys think?

Dipshit

Ok, so I know everyone have probably heard about the threats that were made on football stadiums this coming weekend, and how the FBI said it wasn't credible. Some more info was released today courtesy of cnn.com:

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (CNN) -- A law enforcement official told CNN that a man has admitted he posted a fake bomb threat against National Football League stadiums in major U.S. cities as part of an Internet competition with a person in Texas to create the scariest terror scenario possible.

The official told CNN that it's too early to say whether the man will be charged.

The FBI and the Department of Homeland Security had earlier determined that the threat was a hoax, FBI spokesman Richard Kolko told CNN Thursday.

Earlier Thursday, the FBI interviewed and released a 20-year-old Milwaukee, Wisconsin, man after his friend came forward with information about the online posting of a threat against NFL stadiums.

An FBI source told CNN that agents do not believe the man has any connections to terrorism, but do believe he was involved in making the threat.

The DHS this week sent an advisory to the National Football League and local officials describing a possible uncorroborated threat against some NFL stadiums.

The threat, posted on a Web site, alleged that bombs could be used this weekend against stadiums in New York; Miami, Florida; Atlanta, Georgia; Seattle, Washington; Houston, Texas; Oakland, California; and Cleveland, Ohio. The posting said the bombs were to be delivered by truck.

The DHS said earlier the posting was not considered credible, and that the information was being shared only out of caution so that league officials and others could determine what steps to take.

So, this came about simply because two guys wanted to see who could come up with the scariest terror threat? This was all a fucking game? The article mentions that he might not be charged. Are you kidding me? Game or not, this guy should be punished to the highest extent. You just don't joke about shit like that!!!

Stories

One of the perks of the old job was the stories I'd come home with. I mean, the things I saw, the things people said, the things that happened - all of it made for great stories. I was afraid, taking this new job, that I'd lose the stories. I mean, what could there possibly be to tell stories about?

Thankfully, I was wrong. Here are two...

A lady called saying that she was having some itching "in her personal area." (It's funny to hear what people call their vaginas. Sometimes they actually say it, but they whisper it.) Upon asking this lady a few questions, something interesting came out. She said, "Yeah, and my butt itches too. I did sleep on a homeless guy's blanket, and the dog had fleas. Do you think that's why I'm itching?"

Ummm... You slept on a homeless guy's blanket?!

A 15 year old girl called saying she had symptoms of gonorrhea. I asked how she knew she had gonorrhea. She said she had been treated for it before. I asked where she had been treated. Her response? "Giggle giggle, Juvie."

Ummm... You think it's funny that you are 15 years old and were treated for gonorrhea in juvenile hall?!

Ah yes, the stories didn't stop...

Control your f'n kid!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Jessica and I were at the gym tonight, finishing up our workout by doing the eliptical machine(missed you again mom and sis!). There was a kid, probably about 10 years old by my estimations on the treadmill in front of us. At first, he would jog about 10 seconds, and then jump up and hang on the handlebars for a while. He kept doing that and I whispered to Jessica that I hope he falls. Then, he stood on the rails and turned up the speed on the treadmill as fast as it would go. I think the machine started to shake from never hitting this speed before. Finally, his mother, who was on a machine a few down from me, told him to turn it off and get down. Did he stop? Of course not. She repeated, no joke, like 5 times before he turned the speed down. She continued to to tell him to get off it, obviously because he was still in trouble from playing on it in the first place. Did he get off it? Of course not. He started jogging on it, turning to laugh at her each time she told him to get off. He never did get off the machine even though she told him a total of about 15 times.

So, the kid is a little shit. You could just tell. But really, how can you NOT blame the mother as well? Why should he listen? It is obvious that she has nothing but empty threats and he knows that. Why should he get down if he already knows the mother has NO follow through? I know I am not a parent and have no parenting experience, but it sure seems like a GOOD parent could do a little better in this situation. Maybe if he had fallen and broken a bone, she would have figured it out...

Book Review

Finished World War Z last night. WOW! What a FANTASTIC book. This book is basically a zombie book, but it is SO much more. The style of the book is not your usual start to finish narrative. The books begins(I'm not giving anything away here)with the author explaining that what follows are all the personal narratives he got while interviewing people across the world. The war against the zombies that ended 10 years ago affected people greatly so he goes around interviewing various people on their point of view. This is not really a horror book by any means. Many of the interviews are touching and really show many facets of the human spirit. The author's views on politics are clear as he writes of government ignoring the warning signs and abandoning the people. He writes of people trying to take advantage of the situation. He basically describes how everyone around the world discovered the zombies, how they reacted, and what they did to combat it. All of this is done soley in interview and personal narrative fashion. I HIGHLY recommend this book to everyone. You like horror books, there is something there for you. You like war books, there is something there for you. Like stories about people overcoming obstacles and the truimph of the human spirit, there is something there for you. Don't just discount this book as a simple zombie book as you will be missing a lot. If anyone decides to read it, let me know.

Nacho, Nacho Man

I want to be, a Nacho Man!

OH MY GOD!

Stole this from the Rhys' blog. This is an AMAZING goal from last night's England/Croatia Euro 2008 qualifier. Be sure to watch the whole thing to see all the different camera angle replays. The last one is the best...

The answer....

Yesterday, I asked what was wrong with the unhappy dog in the picture. 4 of you(only 4?!), responded with a variety of answers - all very good. Unfortunately, none of you were right. While cruising celebrity news sites, I found the answer...



This poor, unhappy pooch, is Paris Hilton's new dog. I'd have that face too....

Thanks to those who played along!

Poor dog...

Doesn't this dog look miserable? I know why! Give me some guesses and I will give you the real answers tomorrow...

Misdirected Relief

What kind of a world do we live in now where a plane crashes into a high rise in NYC, and after a few moments of shock, we feel relief that reports say it was just an accident? It is not surprising that our first thoughts are of terrorism when we hear of a crash like this. It is not unreasonable for us to think that. What is weird though is to hear television reports talk about relief that it was not a terrorist attack. Pre 9/11, we would be talking right away about what a tragedy this was. In the world we live in today, somehow, some people have something positive to take from this - at least it wasn't a terrorist attack. It's really weird to think like that.

Now we hear that it was a Yankee player who crashed his plane into the building. Just weird...

I thought I had seen it all....

...and then I find out today that Marilyn Manson has done a song for DISNEY!!! I LOVE IT! Disney is rereleasing the very cool Nightmare Before Christmas to the theaters in 3D. Manson in playing the main title song - This is Halloween. Not sure if they will change it in the movie or if it will just be on the soundtrack, but it is very cool.

Go here: and watch the trailer first to remind you of the movie and song. Then scroll a teeny ways down to the MySpace player(right under the dowloadable icons.) Click on This is Halloween to hear it play. I would just put it on my page, but as of this typing, the don't have it available yet to download. Boo. Check it out!

North Korea

North Korea is beginning to scare me more and more. I don't know why the leadership over there seems to hate us so much. I mean, I know their ideological communist regime is mainly to blame, but it is scary as hell. World affairs just seem to be getting worse and worse...

Just for the hell of it

This one is just for Cassie cause this is the only place I talk to her and figured she should know just in case it slipped by her. I'm looking forward to Ortiz/Shamrock 3 this week, but I found this on the UFC website.

10/06/2006
UFC 65: Bad Intentions in Sacramento on Nov. 18
LIVE FROM ARCO ARENA
UFC® PRESENTS TWO CHAMPIONSHIP FIGHTS
HUGHES vs. ST. PIERRE 2 SYLVIA vs. MONSON AT UFC 65: BAD INTENTION
SSATURDAY, NOV. 18, 2006
Tickets on Sale Sunday, October 15 at 12Noon PT
Las Vegas, NV Seven weeks from now, the over 17,000-seat ARCO Arena in Sacramento, Calif. will be a sight to see when UFC fans from all around the world pack the house to watch UFC World Heavyweight Champion Tim Sylvia face Jeff Monson and UFC World Welterweight Champion Matt Hughes take on No. 1 Contender Georges St. Pierre in their long-awaited rematch at the Ultimate Fighting Championships UFC 65: BAD INTENTIONS Saturday, Nov. 18, 2006.Tickets for UFC 65: BAD INTENTIONS will go on sale priced at $400, $300, $200, $100 and $50 Sunday, October 15 at 12 Noon PT. The fastest and most convenient way to purchase tickets is by visiting the Ticketmaster Web site at Ticketmaster.com. Tickets may be purchased by calling Ticketmaster Charge-By-Phone at (916) 649-TIXS, (530) 528-TIXS and (209) 551-TIXS. Tickets are also available at the ARCO Arena Box Office, which is open Monday thru Saturday from 10am to 6pm at all Sacramento-area Ticketmaster locations and at www.ufc.com. A special Internet ticket presale will be available to UFC newsletter subscribers October 10 starting at 10am PT and ending October 14 at 7pm PT. To access this presale, users must register for the UFC newsletter through ufc.com. There will also be a special auction for Octagon™-side seating available only through Ticketmaster.com starting October 15 at 12 Noon and ending October 27 at 4pm.

Im pleased to bring the most exciting live combat sport in the world the UFC to ARCO Arena and to give fans two great championship title fights in one night, said UFC President Dana White. The Tim Sylvia and Jeff Monson fight is going to be incredible, and the main event rematch between Matt Hughes and Georges St. Pierre has to be one of the most anticipated mixed martial arts fights ever. Im looking forward to Nov. 18 and to finally holding a UFC event in Sacramento. Hughes and St. Pierre were originally set to fight each other at UFC 63 (9/23/06). Both fighters were deep in their training when the UFC announced that St. Pierre had pulled a groin muscle. He recuperated, but not in time to prepare for the fight. Instead, BJ The Prodigy Penn stepped up to the challenge, giving Hughes the opportunity to avenge his most recent loss against the former champion. After two incredible rounds of MMA, Hughes stopped Penn in the third round, retaining his welterweight crown and evening the score between the two. Not one to wait, Hughes is all set to get back in the Octagon™ at UFC 65 and give fans the fight they were promised at UFC 63. I think this will be a great fight and that fans will appreciate this rematch, said Hughes. Im already in shape and Im definitely ready for St. Pierre. Ive been waiting for this fight against Matt Hughes for a long time, said St. Pierre. I want that belt so bad I want to become the champion. Hughes and St. Pierre last fought
October 22, 2004 at UFC 50: THE WAR OF 04 in Atlantic City, New Jersey. At the time, St. Pierre had a perfect record. But Hughes ended up giving St. Pierre his first career loss, forcing him to tapout at the end of the first round. Since that day, Hughes has maintained the welterweight crown, and St. Pierre has aggressively fought to put himself back in line for the title, defeating former champion BJ Penn, Jason Mayhem Miller, Frank Trigg and Sean Sherk. Meanwhile, Matt Hughes defeated Frank Trigg, Joe Riggs, the legendary Royce Gracie and most recently former champion BJ Penn.Sylvia and Monson will also engage in a championship title fight at UFC 65.

Sylvia (24-2-0), fighting out of Davenport, Iowa, is the UFC heavyweight champion. He first stormed into the UFC defeating Cabbage Correira in his first fight and knocking out Ricco Rodriguez in his second fight to become the champion. Following his knock out of Gan McGee to defend the title, Sylvia relinquished his belt when the Nevada State Athletic Commission suspended his license after he tested positive for an anabolic agent. He then fought Frank Mir for the vacant title at UFC 48 and suffered multiple breaks in his arm from a Mir armbar. After recovering, he returned at UFC 51 fighting Arlovski only to suffer another setback as he was forced to tap out in the first round due to an Achilles lock. At UFC 54 he returned to his winning ways with a devastating head kick knockout over Tra Telligman, followed by a unanimous decision victory over Assuerio Silva at Ultimate Fight Night™ Jan. 16, 2006. Sylvia faced UFC World Heavyweight Champion Arlovski again at UFC 59 and defeated him by a devastating first round knockout. He followed that up with another win, a decision, over Arlovski at UFC 61 (7/8/06). Now hes ready to make his third title defense, this time against the devastating challenger Jeff Monson.Monson (24-5), fighting out of Olympia, Wash., is a world champion submission grappler who trains with the American Top Team. Monson is most well known for his strength and his wrestling skills. Lately, he has become a threat standing as well as on the ground, as he showed in his first round KO over Anthony Perosh at UFC 61 (7/8/06). Previously, at UFC 57 (2/4/06) Monson submitted Branden Lee Hinkle with a north/south choke in the first round. He also defeated jiu-jitsu champion Marcio Cruz by split-decision. Monson feels he is ready for a title shot and is eager to face Sylvia on Nov. 18.

The remaining bouts for UFC 65: BAD INTENTIONS will be announced in the near future.

It can be our first date. What do ya say? I'll buy the tickets and you buy the coldstone afterwards? hehe Hope Mike doesn'tnecessary. Oh and I don't think it was neccessary to leave that Victoria's Secret catalog in my bedroom the other night. Did ya have to leave it open to the filled out order form cause that isn't a very subtle hint. Sorry Mom and Manuel. Just amusing myself with that last paragraph. Peace people. PEACE!

P.S. Your order is on the way Cassie. Teehee. :)

No explanation needed....

My First Week

I survived my first week of my new job. Here are some of my thoughts...

I felt like I wasn't too helpful. I go to orientation and stuff all next week, and there I'll learn the computer system and get my log-ins. This week I mainly shadowed everyone - the last half of Monday with the advice nurse, Tuesday and Wednesday with the people doing prenatals (which I'll do) and Wednesday I even did one on my own, Thursday again with the advice nurse, and I took calls and gave advice while she did the computer stuff, and today neither the advice nurse nor the people doing prenatals were there so I cleaned out and organized the cabinets with all the informational brochures and helped everyone with their little things. I actually left early - 315pm - because there was nothing to do. I couldn't take advice calls because, again, I don't know the computer system.

The people I work with are all very friendly and willing to help and answer questions. The doctors are all nice. They are fun and laugh, and it is pretty laid back. The only thing is, there is no break room in our office, so everyone gathers in the office of the doctor on-call and eats. Only, nobody invited me. I shouldn't feel like I need an invitation, I mean, I have every right to eat my lunch with them, but at the same time, I feel kinda like I'm intruding. So I ate lunch by myself 3 of the days. It's no big deal - I usually call Manuel or read. It's only 30 minutes (I do that by choice. I'm so used to not even getting a lunch, 30 minutes is fine. I wouldn't know what to do with myself for an hour.)

The commute sucks. I'm so used to having no commute, and the little bit I did drive to the hospital was so early/late there was no traffic. Going to work is usually worse than coming home. The fastest it took me was 20 minutes and that was today with absolutely no traffic. The longest it took me was 45 minutes. Coming home usually takes about 30 to 40 minutes. Still though, even if it takes me an hour to get home, I get there before I would if I was still at the hospital...

This 5 days a week thing... I guess I never realized how nice it is to have days off during the week. It's not awful, but I must admit that the thought, "I have to do this for 3 more days" did cross my mind Tuesday morning.

8 hours - I LOVE IT! The day goes SOOOOOOO fast. Even though it's only 4 hours less than what I did at the hospital, it really makes a difference.

I did inadvertently create trouble this week. I swear, I can't even go a week without stirring up the shit...

During lunch with the advice nurse on Thursday we were talking about the difference between this job and the hospital. Thursday was VERY slow and we actually spent a good chunk of time looking at magazines and talking. During lunch she mentioned something about this probably being the easiest job I've had, and I agreed, saying, in passing, "This is the easiest (insert dollars/hour here) I've ever made!" She said, "You make (insert dollars/hour here)?" Instantly I knew I had screwed up. If I could just turn back time... "No..." "Yes you do. You make (insert dollars/hour here) and I only make (insert less dollars/hour here). You've been a nurse for 2.5 years and I've been a nurse for 22 years and you make more than me?!"

I can understand that she was upset. I admit, the situation is f'd up. If that were me, I'd be pissed too. She went to the bosses and mentioned it to them. They told her that if she went to HR about it, I could get into trouble. She told me she wouldn't do that to me. The bosses called HR and mentioned it to them without mentioning my name. She didn't get more money, but somehow they made her feel better. They told her they were desperate to fill the position and that's why they offered more money. Either way, there went Jessica, on her 4th day, stirring up the shit.

I also like the job because it is a set, regular schedule, allowing Manuel and I to set a gym schedule we can stick to. We went to the gym Monday and Wednesday, more than we were able to do when I worked at the hospital, getting home at 730pm after working my ass off and having to get up at 520am to do it again the next day. So hopefully this new job will assist with the weight loss - if I'm able to exercise self-control when the drug reps bring goodies to the office!

Next week I get my computer learn on, then the plan for the next week is Monday and Tuesday do advice for real so I can learn the computer in our actual setting, then do advice on my own Wednesday (the regular advice nurse takes Wednesdays off.) Thursday and Friday I'll do prenatal appointments.

Overall I am very happy so far. I can feel that I'm happier, perkier, more joyful. I feel better not dreading going to work. It was a good move.

What are you looking at butthead?!?

Saw this video today and had to post it. This is Tom Wilson who played Biff in Back to the Future. Here is a song he wrote about the questions he gets all the time. Pretty funny. The first 5 seconds or so have some funky colors so don't freak out.

CHP Retiree's Day

A quick read...

Sunday was a very enjoyable day for me. After doing my list of chores that Jessica left me while she was at work, I decided that I was going to have a nice leisurely day of reading - with football on in the background of course. As you can see on my sidebar, I'm reading World War Z, but since I am reading that book to Jessica, I had to pick something else. I decided to pick another book that I had checked out at the library, "Mary, Mary", by James Patterson. For those of you who don't know, I am a big James Patterson fan. LOVE his books. This book was the most recent in his Alex Cross series. Like all other Alex Cross books, this one was really good. This one was about a serial killer in L.A. that was killing prominent people in the entertainment industry. As it was only three hundred pages, I was able to polish it off in one day. Great book. If you have never read a book in the Alex Cross series, I highly recommend starting with the first one and moving your way through them. They are all, VERY GOOD.

This next story is almost too crazy to be true, but it is:
From Anova.com


Police hunt farting dissident

Police in Poland have launched a nationwide hunt for a man who farted loudly when asked what he thought of the president.

Hubert Hoffman, 45, was charged with "contempt for the office of the head of state" for his actions after he was stopped by police in a routine check at a Warsaw railway station.

He complained that under President Lech Kaczynski and his twin brother Jaroslaw, the country was returning to a Communist style dictatorship.

When told to show more respect for the country's rulers, he farted loudly and was promptly arrested.

Hoffmann was arrested and released on bail but failed to turn up at a Warsaw court early this week to be tried, and the judge in the case rejected an appeal by defence lawyers to throw the charges out.

A court spokesman said: "Such a case of disrespect is taken very seriously."

Instead the court ordered the police to start a nationwide hunt for the man, and interpol have been alerted."

Really? Arrested for farting? Farting?!? Note to self - DO NOT movie to Poland and fart when the police ask you a question!

Two photoshop pictures today. First is the long awaited MerManuel. It's not my best work. I was actually having a LOT of problems with it because Ben Stiller's chin/neck/face is SO skinny, and mine is....well, not skinny. Made it really hard with my limited skills, but, I did it...kind of.


The next one is a pic of me and my friends spliced in with some poker pros. This one I mainly did to send to all my friends. It was fun to do, but unless you follow poker, this probably means nothing to you...

A Few Things in the World of Jessica

Today was my last day at the hospital. It was actually a really nice day - not busy at all. In fact, I didn't get my first patient until 830. She was very nice and we had a beautiful delivery of a little boy at 1155. Then I hung out, had lunch, opened gifts from my coworkers (a Starbucks mug and a $50 gift card and a pumpkin-scented 4 wick candle in a cute ceramic pumpkin), and ate ice cream cake. I even got to come home early, which was a blessing seeing as how I have to go to the new work in the morning and still had laundry and other things to do. All in all it was a fantastic last day and I am thankful for the generosity and well wishes of my coworkers. I will miss them tremendously.

The new job starts tomorrow. I'm going to HR in Rancho for the first half of the day, then to the clinic for the last half. I have to do my "compliance training," whatever that is, before I can work in the clinic, so I'll do that in the morning so I can work in the clinic the rest of the week. Then next week, the week of the 9th, I have new employee orientation at HR in Rancho the whole week. No clinic work that week. It will suck and be boring but I'll be getting paid to sit there. Can't complain about that... I'll keep you updated.

The following story I told to Manuel today and he said, after laughing, "That's a story for the blog." So here it is...

On my way home from work, I was stopped at a light next to a car whose license plate read "DBAGMAN." I was curious - was his last name Bagman, first initial D or was he "the bagman?" I scooted up to get a look at him, like that would somehow answer my question for me. He was on the phone, holding it with his right hand (I was on the right) so I couldn't see his face. I did notice though, while looking over, that a woman was sitting in the passenger seat. I couldn't see her face because she was leaning back and was blocked by that solid part of car between the front passenger window and the back. I was looking ahead, waiting for the light to change, when I noticed she was looking at me. I looked over and I am not lying when I say that she was THE MOST unattractive woman I've ever seen in my whole entire life. She was UGLY - and I rarely call people flat-out ugly because it's not nice but my God she was ugly. Honestly it took everything I had to not make a face of shock and surprise when I saw her.

The point of the story? I now know what "DBAGMAN" means - he wants her to wear a bag on her head.

Civil War

I few months ago, I mentioned that I was reading a series called Civil War. Actually, hearing that it was coming is what got me back into comics. It just sounded like an interesting concept. Basically it started like this....







A young superhero group called the New Warriors had a reality show where they were filmed catching criminals. However, something went wrong. A villain named Nitro fought back and blew up the whole area, including a school yard full of kids. All but one of the heroes died.








The public decided they had enough of heroes. They cry to the government to make heroes register and be regulated. Quickly, Congress passes the Superhero Registration Act, making all costumed heroes have to register. Many heroes, led by Iron Man and Mister Fantastic of the Fantastic 4 get behind the bill and encourage many other heroes to follow suit. This leads to Spiderman unmasking in front of the world to send a message that he is behind the bill.


Other heroes decide the law is wrong and go into hiding led by Captain America. They will still fight villains, but do it in secret as they are now fugitives. They also free heroes who decide not to register as they get captured.






While every other hero is worried about the bill, Wolvering decides to find the one person who started it all - Nitro, the one who caused the initial explosion. He is able to track him down and capture him. In his adventure, he finds out that Nitro was given extra power to make the explosion so powerful. The one who gave him the power - a company called Damage Control who makes money by cleaning up messes left up by superhero/supervillain battles. They made and are making tons of money by the current state of things. Wolverine is not happy....



The registered heroes trick the anti-heroes into meeting. A battle ensues. The battle is fairly even until Thor appears. Everyone thought he was dead. He starts attacking all the anti-heroes. In the ensuing battle, he kills the anti-registration hero Goliath by driving his hammer through his chest. As he goes to attack the rest of the anti-reg heroes, the Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four puts a shield around them allowing them to escape even though she is not on their side. This was a great image as the heroes say thank you to her as they escape.





We find out that the Thor character was just a clone made by Iron Man and his brightest men. Thor would never act like that. Some of the registered heroes, especially Spiderman, start to second guess the side they are on now that a former friend of theirs is dead. Invisible Woman, angry with her husband Mister Fantastic and the role he has taken in the war, leaves him a Dear John letter saying she loves him, but is leaving him to go join the anti reg heroes along with her brother, the Human Torch. She is saddened by the direction the war has taken. To make sure they don't run out of numbers, Iron Man gets imprisoned super villains to begin hunting the other heroes. He's clearly gone mad. Spiderman decides he is switching sides, but as soon as he tells his wife and Aunt May, he is attacked by Iron Man...

I am in love with this series. The drama is just unbelievable. Deaths, hero vs hero, wives leaving husbands, big business conspiracies, it is just so unbelievably exciting. Can't wait to see what direction the story takes next...

Here is a video that has images from the first few issues up to the part where Clone Thor arrives. I think it is pretty well done...

I'm a murderer

I killed yesterday. I'm a murderer. Something that was once alive and breathing is no longer alive because of me. I was moving the trash cans out to the curb for garbage pickup when it happened. How was I ever supposed to know there would be a living creature under the wheel. Who takes a nap under a wheel. Didn't their mommy or daddy teach them better? So I moved the trash can and out it moved...or hopped in this case. Yes, I had mortally wounded a frog. A frog, in my front yard. In all my years in Sacramento, I have never had a frog appear on my property so it was quite the sight. Too bad I had damged him so much that he wouldn't live much longer. I decided to put the poor creature out of his misery. I hope the court goes gentle on me.

My love for the Civil War storyline in Marvel Comics right now is bordering on obsessive. It is THAT good. I will be writing an update on the storyline tomorrow.

I tried finding a picture of the Merman in Zoolander online, but have come up empty unfortunately. If I had the DVD, I could just get a screen capture, but it is not in my library. I just can't bring myself to do the Desperate Housewives picture.

I am adding a new feature on my sidebar. Since I am usually in the middle of reading a book, I will have an image of what book I am reading there. The review of the book will come when I am done. Have a good weekend everbody.

Guess who's back...back again....

Ok, I know it hasn't been THAT long, but it feels like I have been away from the blog world for a while..especially as far as reading my fellow bloggers posts(GO CHECK THEM OUT!) I felt bad that I missed so many great posts and just got done catching up. No real good reason as to why I haven't been to active in the last week. Probably mainly because my mother in law has been here since Wednesday and I didn't want to be too antisocial and spend all night on the computer like usual. I did miss it though and once she leaves tomorrow, I am sure my addiction to the net will return to normal.

Still no word on jobs yet. Keep applying, but no news yet. I did get a phone call from one I sent my resume to (Thanks for helping out Jen!), but the job wasn't really something I was interested in. I guess all I can do is keep applying. For now, I have been working for my "step-mother in law" here in town at her medical billing job. I'm getting paid to do some pretty easy stuff - computer work, calling insurance companies, etc. so it's cool. Someone who works for her just quit so I am working way more than me or her thought. I'm not complaining. She interviewed someone new for the job, but told her she didn't want to have her start until I found a job. Pretty cool.

I haven't done a photoshop pic in a while. I want to do a new one. Got any suggestions? All submissions will be considered and maybe even done. Ideas? Please...

NOT Politically Correct - Consider Yourself Warned

Last night, while watching Survivor, Manuel and I were exercising our First Amendment rights and making ethnic/racist comments. (Hey, we live in the great and mighty USA, people continue to die to protect the freedoms we have, so we may as well use them.) I thought the conversation we had was pretty damn funny, so I'll continue to exercise my First amendment rights and share them with you now. Plus, this will help keep the Survivor race-separation scandal alive and well. Nothing like stoking the fire...

Background:
The Survivor tribes are currently named as follows:
African Americans: Manihiki
Hispanic Americans: Aitutaki
Asian Americans: Puka Puka
Caucasian Americans: Raratonga

The conversation:
J: They named the tribes all wrong. They should have called the Hispanics "Beans-a" and the Asians "Rice-a."
M: Yeah! And the blacks "Grits-a."
J: And the whites "Cracka!"



Come on, you know you at least cracked a smile...

My love for Weird Al continues...

This guy is just gold. This is funnier if you know the song he is doing a parody of. Brand new stufff......

My New Mantra

Without giving you all the details on the situation, suffice it to say that an emergency occurred with my patient yesterday and we had to run to the operating room for a cesarean section. That didn't piss me off - that's my job. I'm trained to deal with that and occasionally the adrenaline rush is cool. It's what happened after that that threw me over the edge.

The emergency occurred early in my shift - about 830am. By the time I was finished recovering my patient and was ready to move her to the post partum side, it was 1145am. Notice that I was otherwise occupied during the time I would normally get a 15-minute break to eat my breakfast, so by 1145am I was pretty hungry (and tired already from the adrenaline and stress.)

The charge nurse tells me to take my patient over to post partum, then I can go to lunch. Cool.

I get her over to post partum, transfer her to her bed, clean her up (all by myself because the post partum nurse is nowhere to be found) and go to the nursing station to find her so I can give report and take my lunch.

But apparently there has been a change of plans...

The charge nurse comes to me and says, "Change of plans. You are going to relieve post partum nurse #1 for lunch, then when she comes back, you can give her report and go to lunch."

Ummmmm... I'm not pleased, but ok, whatever. My new mantra runs through my head.

At some point during post partum nurse #1's 30 minute break, it is brought to my attention that plans have changed again. Now I'm to relieve post partum nurse #2 for a lunch, then I can take my lunch.

Now I'm pretty pissed off and I call the charge nurse on it.

"I didn't get a morning break!"

"Nobody got a morning break, Jessica."

Yeah, and I'm sure it's because they were all running their asses off dealing with an emergency.

But I'm too tired to fight. My new mantra runs through my head. Again.

Finally, at 145pm, I take my lunch.

And they wonder why I'm leaving...

What is my new mantra, you ask? Well it changes with every shift, but yesterday it was

4 shifts left.

The Insightful Mrvideoguy

Ya remember that kid who sat in the back of the 12th grade English class and said nothing to anyone and got the highest grade? He became Cassie's love interest that's what! Where were ya tonight kiddo? I'm housesitting for a friend who has a pool and a spa in the backyard and you just go and leave me high and dry. What's up with that? I can't help it now cause now I get to bug your brother and amuse your mom all at the same time. Plus sooner or later I will get you admit that "brother's hot friends" thing to the world. I will crack you sooner or later. Or I will get the restraining order. Either way should make for a fun time and one hell of a blog from JAIL someday for me. Promise to bail me out Manuel please?

So, it's 3 am and we all know I do my best thinking at round this time.

Here are a few things I have been called in my life..........If my memory serves me right that is.......................

Kind
Caring
Insightful
Chubby
Fat
Smart
Funny
Shy
Adorable
Cute
Hot
Normal
Calm
Hostile
Unemotional

You get the point. The opinion is still out I think as far as what others think. Me, myself, well I can sum it all up in one well-rounded word.

Introverted.

I will give the audience credit here and not go and define the word as much as just define myself through it. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and the only light in the house that is on is coming from the computer screen and I couldn't be happier. I have one more day off till I jump back to work and I just want to spend it alone. I have a job that requires me to leave in a vehicle alone and come back solo having done the tasks I was assigned for that given day. I will probably make my way to a basketball court tomorrow in search of an empty basketball court. Meaning I'd rather play with myself than with others. And for those who caught that, stop laughing you filthy dogs you. I find my introversion tends to lead to the development of my better qualities, but I will focus on a con

I have been called selfish on more than one occasion. I would like for others to know that I don't find myself so important that I have to sit around alone thinking of only myself. There are more variables than that. It is with sadness that I find that my introverted lifestyle has led to a foundationless spirit within. This is why I can focus on something so completely and totally and then drop it within a month. It's the reason why when asked if I wanted or desire a family of my own I have no other answer but "I don't care." A life spent shooting holes in the beliefs of others leaves me very much island bound. Stuck to forever shout that I really do care.

Take this blog for example. Anonymity. Quite freeing. Why do you think I keep writing? At this point I think I write solely for the response more than for the expression of my feelings. I will come back later today and just search for comments to see what someone says about my post. More to the point about me. Does this make me selfish? Am I whoring myself out just for a quick fix? Maybe I am an addict without an addiction and for the time being writing is my CRACK. Even the slightest mention of an outside fan I wasn't aware of makes me wanna "Show Off". That said I have no real sense of my own gifts or talents or if I am just simply wasting seconds of my life with documented babble. Even as I write this I realize I sound more and more like the tortured soul I only wish I was cause then I would have a reason for being this way.

Enough for now. I have some goals to reach, some errands to run, and some money to spend. Anyone know any good hair removal facilities? I could use a good waxing. That should be my closing survey question. Did everyone who just read this laugh at my final comedic attempt? Come on people admit it. Male waxing is funny. Rabble Rock!

The Coming Holy War

The Pope is an idiot. I was a little weary of him when he became Pope, but up until now, he has done little to raise my eyebrow. Truthfully, even though I am religious, I really didn't see who was Pope as having a huge impact on me. Last week might have started somethibg big though. In case you don't know what happened, let me give you the short version. Basically, last week, he was giving a lecture and he quoted a dialouge from the 1300s that said, "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

It is not my intention to get into a discussion on religion here. He can believe all he wants about Islam. But he should NOT be making his thoughts on another religion in public. It will get out. It was just a lecture, but when the leader of the Christian faith says something about another religion, even if it is just quoting someone else, it is in poor judgement.

He later said he was sorry for angering Muslims, but many feel his apology was not enough. He says the thoughts were simply quoted, but not his opinion. So what has been the result? As expected, there have been protests in many Islamic areas including Palestine where American flags, German flags, and effigies of the Pope were burned. An Italian nun was shot in Somalia in what many are saying is a direct result of the comments.

And Al Qaeda? Well, you know they had a comment. In a statement, they have warned the Pope that the West is doomed. They have declared, "We will break up the cross, spill the liquor and impose head tax, then the only thing acceptable is a conversion (to Islam) or (killed by) the sword."

The Pope now has an upcoming trip to Turkey, a largely Muslim area, and many Turkish officials are saying he should be arrested for his comments once he steps foot there. Some are saying this trip will probably end up being cancelled due to the tensions. But what if he does go? What is an attempt on his life happens when he is there? What if it is successful? I don't even want to imagine what will happen in that scenario. Like I said before, I don't want to make comments on actual religion here, but I am still ashamed that he made these comments. I'll be wearliy paying attention to what happens next.

October 2nd Can't Come Fast Enough

First the good news: I got the insurance thing figured out - and it won't cost me a penny! If I work for the hospital for just a single day in October, I'm covered for the entire month. So, instead of 9/30 being my last day, I'm going to work 10/1. It sucks that I'm not going to get a day off before I start my new job 10/2, but sometimes you have to sacrifice for the greater good. It'll be worth it. Way to screw the system on my way out! Yeah!

Now, about my patient today...

She was 18 going on 12. A total immature brat. BRAT. It's harsh, but completely accurate when I say that I HATED her by the end of the day. HATED her.

When I first got her at 7 this morning, she was still not admitted. We were waiting to see if she was really in labor. Her baby didn't look good enough to take off the monitor, so I told her I'd watch her closely and the second it looked ok, I'd take the monitors off so she could walk. Her response? Silence. I asked her if that was ok. Nothing. I finally said, "Can I have some form of acknowledgement so I know you understand what I'm saying?" She said, rolling her eyes, "Fine. God. I have nothing to say to you."

And that's how we started our day together.

It only got better from there. "Get me a blanket." No "thank you." I got her an epidural. No "thank you." "Get me some juice." No "thank you." Ungrateful little bitch.

And here's the doosey. When she was 10 cm and ready to push, her epidural wasn't working as well as it had been, and she was feeling pain. At this point, it wasn't worth my calling the anesthesiologist to come give her extra medicine because she'll just have the baby and it'll be a waste. So we start pushing. Most women are relieved to push. She pushed real well for about 10, 15 minutes, then all of a sudden decided she was done. Now, instead of pushing with each contraction, she screamed. And screamed this awful, heart-wrenching, blood-curdling scream. I encouraged the hell out of her - you get this baby out and the pain will stop, only you can do this, everyone gives up now, you can do this - you ARE doing this, etc etc etc. Each word of encouragement was met with a scream of, "I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!" The thing is, she was SOOOOOOOOO close to pushing that baby out. Honestly, if she just sacked up, she could have pushed the kid out in 5 contractions and been done with it. If I was in excrutiating pain and knew there was something I could do to end it, I'd friggin do it!

I encouraged her, her family encouraged her, and she stubbornly kept screaming. I finally tried the good cop bad cop approach and got a little rough with her. I said, "Listen, if you don't push this kid out, you're going to be in pain and be pregnant forever." Her response? She yelled at me, "I DON'T FUCKING CARE."

"Then neither do I," I said as I took my gloves off. I covered her up and told her to call me when she was ready to push, then closed the door to her room on my way out so we didn't have to hear her scream.

Although we still could.

Finally another nurse went in there, tried, and eventually got her to sack up and get the job done. And you know what pissed me off the most? When the baby was finally out, everyone, including the doctor, told her what a good job she did.

What? Were we interacting with the same screaming, cussing patient? Why didn't they just tell her the truth - You were rude and obnoxious, you immature little shit. You have a rude awakening coming, taking care of that newborn.

But how trying was that? I work my ass off for her, getting her things, making her comfortable, encouraging the hell out of her, and NOT ONCE did I get a thank you.

Yeah, the new job can't come fast enough...

Celebrity Interpreter

Jerry over at One Sided War gave me a heads up on this. Had to post it. Thanks!

No Comments Needed

First, I open with some hilarity before I bombard myself with a beat down. Yes, Mom it's true. Cassie has been sneaking around with me for the past three months. Our secret is finally out. She enjoys late night trips to Baskin Robbins and hanging out at Southside Park in downtown Sacramento. Hehehe. I could only be so lucky. Had to do that once just because your son told me what ya asked and it's just precious.

Now on to what this really is and I apologize cause this may have some explicit language. I might not write anything on here for a while cause I have a problem. I really lied to myself. I talk and talked all this bullshit on here and to other people in my life and I truly haven't progressed from the time I was 18 years old. I got to feel like that this past Sunday morning. I skipped my 10-year high school reunion. Why you ask? Well up until the actual event I had a ton of answers in my mind for you that all sounded great. Turns out I really didn't believe any of them.

I was just a pussy.

I couldn't get over myself. I said I didn't really care when it is so blatantly obvious that I did care. I was just too embarrassed about myself. I made up all the same excuses that I used when I was busy avoiding everything back when I was actually attending high school. I got to bring them all out again and use them for everyone to hear. I couldn't get over what I had become in my eyes. I honestly know that as I sit here today I think of myself as a failure and I didn't want to have to face that in front of all these people I grew up with. That said I realize that I didn't give any of them credit enough to know that no matter what I actually said or felt, I could have still enjoyed myself and got over that awkwardness in less than 5 minutes and they wouldn't have cared if I was a base jumper or not. Shout out to my brother for that joke and to Phil for carrying it out.

I think I have given myself a complex. I have no real official title for it, but it basically involves screwing myself over in order to make myself feel like I actually went through something tougher than it actually was. I call it looking for that defining moment to galvanize my journey in life. Rather than actually just letting it happen, I have been busying fucking my own life up simply by overthinking everything. So for that I missed a few laughs, a few dances, a few drinks, and a few faces that I won't see anytime soon. I got to be that ghost on the wall once again. I got to be that guy that wasn't in the pictures. And for what you ask? Cause I don't like the man I see in the mirror?

What I should have realized is that for one night I didn't have to be that guy. I just had to be honest and be ok with myself for once. Rather than using this night as some sort of false motivation. Trust me I know I have a lot more foundational problems that led to this debacle of a night, but it's a microcosm for the past 10 years. Protect myself from the outside world and it can't hurt me, right? Live in my fantasy world cause it's safer. NO. It's just sad. And lonely. I guess that's why I am a good poker player every now and then. I can even make myself believe my own bullshit.

I guess I just say this cause it will be my answer for the next week when I have to tell people why I didn't go. Vague answers are just cowardly and pathetic. I think all any of you can take from this is don't be like me. Don't be like Rich. Instant regret. Not a good thing to have deep down in your heart. This all doesn't make me a big man for admitting my own faults. It's just another thing to add to my list when I look in the mirror. Sadly, 99 percent of my reunion mates won't ever really know this or read this. And even if they did it really shouldn't make them care much at all. I just had to document this moment and feeling and admit it to myself. Cause just walking around with it in my head as some kind of secret would hurt a lot more than actually saying it. I am not sure where all this comes from. I don't know why I acted this way and how it all came back to me so easily. 6 hours of my life and I couldn't do it. To top my horrible Saturday off I even got the honor of losing 100 bucks to my friend Buddy cause Notre Dame decided to no-show this weekend against Michigan. So, how was your weekend everyone? Rhetorical people. Rabble Rock!

Foothill High School Class of 1996 10-Year Reunion

Nervous

I got my new hire packet in the mail today. In it was information on disability, family leave, dress code, computer use rules, employee handbook, sexual harassment, things like that. It also contained my offer letter, which outlines my pay, my start date, etc. One of the things it also said was that my medical benefits wouldn't be active until 1/1/07. 3 months without insurance? I called right away. She said there was a 3 month probationary period for all new hires. I was completely silent - my head was spinning. What are we supposed to do without medical benefits for 3 months?! She asked if nobody explained that to me, and I said they hadn't and I thought the benefits would just carry over seeing as how I was already employed by the company. She said, "You are?!"

So now we're just going to be 1 month without medical benefits. I don't think we're going to leave the house for that month. This is SO scary...

The Survivor Controversy

The 13th season of Survivor starts tonight and like always, I am looking forward to it. However, this season has been getting a lot of buzz lately over the decision the producers have made over how to split up the teams. In case you haven't heard, this is what is happening. The producers have decided to split the teams into groups of 4 - each one of a different race. The 4 teams are divided into Caucasian, African America, Asian, and Hispanic groups. In the past, the contestants have been primarily Caucasian, mainly because that is who primarily applied for the show. The show received heat for not having more of a diverse cast of contestants. In response to this, the producers came up with the above idea. However, since they announced this, there has been a media backlash over the decision.

Frankly, this whole uproar over the decision has me pissed off. They respond to what people say is wrong with the show and people are still upset. Cries of racism and segregation have been rampant. I think people are just overreacting. It's a GAME! They aren't trying to create a race war. It's just for fun. Back in my senior season of high school varsity soccer, we used to split the team into two to scrimmage- "Whites vs. the Others Races." Why? Because it was fun. When the game was done did my teammates hate our white counterparts? No! It was just for fun. Did it split our team in two over the course of the season? Absolutely not. My oldest friend on the team was on the other side. It was just to make it more interesting. For FUN!

Other critics are saying, this is just a publicity stunt to get people to watch the show. You know what I say to that - so what?! Who cares?!? Is it not the job of producers to get more people to watch the show? Last season, they divided the contestants into 4 separate groups according to age and sex - older males, older females, younger males, and younger females. Did we have quite the uproar we have now? No. But you throw race in the cards and everyone gets their panties in a bunch and calls it racist. Talking about it and making a big deal about it only makes it worse. If they had just let it go and not brought up the race card, things would have been fine. And you know what, last season the groups were only divided like that for about 3 episodes. Are we really getting upset over three episodes? I am tired of people calling everything racist and making it seem like everyone has a hidden racist agenda. Get off it people. Just enjoy it for what it is. Entertainment. Am I going to watch the show knowing ahead of time that I am going to be cheering for the Hispanics simply because that is my race? Hell no. What if all the Hispanics on the show are a bunch of dicks? I'll cheer for the most likeable person. People just need to get off it and stop being so fucking sensitive.

This video is AWESOME!!!

Ok, so here is the supposed back story of this video. Back in the early 90s, Universal wanted to remake their image as they were having some rough times. They hired some young filmmakers named Trey Parker and Matt Stone(pre South Park Days) to do a video that would required viewing for all new hires. This was the result. It is almost 14 minutes so make sure you have time to see the WHOLE thing(hint, hint) as it is really a blast. Let me know what you think...



Via: VideoSift



Unfortunately, in the end, the head of Universal vetoed the video as he didn't think it was up to Universal standards. But, luckily, it was never deleted from memory...

A couple of driving related posts

Found some funny stuff today while prerusing Dave Barry's blog.

The first is quite an embarassing story for one individual. I assumed the article was translated into English as the grammar is a little off. You get the picture though...

Rescuers Find Driver Unconscious With Pump Attached To His Penis

September 8, 2006 9:59 p.m. EST
Yvonne Lee - All Headline News Staff Reporter
Bratislava, Slovakia (AHN) - Rescuers in Slovakia find a driver who crashed into a bus unconscious, with a vacuum pump attached to his penis.
Police say the 42-year-old man was half naked while driving an old Citroen in the town of Levice.
He crashed after ignoring a "give way" sign.
Police officer Peter Polak tells Reuters, "It's very likely he had auto-sex while driving, it is a matter of investigation. After the accident he was found lying in the seat, his pants were off and it (the pump) was placed on his penis."
He adds, "I've never seen anything like this, nor have my colleagues."
The man was hospitalized with head injuries.

Now, we have always heard the tip to wear clean underwear when we go out in case we get in a crash. Nothing would be worse than being caught with dirty underwear, right? Well, this guy seems to have topped that. THIS, has to be the most embarrasing thing that could happen to you in event of a car crash.



He also posted this video from YouTube that shows traffic in India.

So....are there no traffic laws there? Do they use lanes? Speed limits? Although you saw no crashes in THIS scene, I can't imagine there are never any with driving like this.

A Midnight Adventure

This post is for you, Rich...

When poker night ended last night around 1130, I was hungry, Manuel was hungry, and there were some things we needed to pick up - milk and pineapple (for the stir fry we were supposed to have for dinner that night but couldn't bring ourselves to eat it without pineapple, so we scrapped that plan until we could get to the store.) Hungry and needing groceries, where does one turn? WalMart, of course, less than 5 minutes away with its McDonald's and grocery store all in one.

Let me say that we were absolutely amazed at the number of people there at midnight! And kids - so many kids! I know it was Saturday, but kids should be asleep at midnight, regardless of the day of the week.

So we go inside and get snacks first - we split nuggets and fries. We ate them there, in the McDonald's, fascinated with the 65-70 year old man pulling the graveyard greeter shift. THAT guy should be asleep too.

Then we cruised around the grocery section to see what they have and how much it costs. Fortunately we are very blessed and money is rarely an issue for us, but I admit that I like a good deal, I like a bargain. And man, does WalMart have them! We got a can of Dole pineapple for 88 cents, whereas at Safeway it would have cost $1.20-something. I often think about taking those little frozen Lean Cuisine or Weight Watchers meals to work for lunch, but they are so expensive. Not at WalMart! The WW meals were $1.29 each!! And the Yoplait yogurt we buy - at Safeway it's usually on sale 10 for $6. At WalMart they were 48 cents each!

Oh, the bargain hunter in me was getting excited. So excited, in fact, that the vomit incident nearly left my mind. I told Manuel that I could get past the vomit incident for these prices.

I hate what I've become...

Then something happened to reaffirm that no matter how good of a deal they offer, I can not be associated with WalMart shoppers.

We were standing in line, waiting to pay. In front of us were 2 women, close friends or sisters, with a baby, maybe a little over 1 year, sitting in the cart. They were eating a 4-pack of Reeses peanut butter cups they picked up by the register as they unloaded their cart. We watched them intently, as we both had the feeling they weren't going to pay for them.

They discarded a few things as they unloaded their cart, a shirt, which they hung on the magazine rack, and a throw pillow, which they put on a shelf next to the register. I asked Manuel why they wouldn't just give them to the checker and tell her that they changed their minds?

They kept giving the kid bites of the candy. I mentioned to Manuel that they better not get mad at that kid when he won't go to sleep at 2am because of all the sugar they gave him.

When their cart was finally unloaded and all of the items scanned, the checker told them the amount, and they had to start giving stuff back because it was more money than they had - which one of the ladies confirmed after she looked in her bra for more - NO LIE!

We noticed a bolt of fabric laying on the bottom part of the cart that they didn't give to the checker lady. We pointed it out to each other and had a discussion on whether they forgot about it (which we both knew they hadn't) and when was the appropriate time to say anything, and who to say it to, the customers or the checker.

Sure enough, just to confirm the thievery for us, when they started loading their cart, they put the big, king sized pillow they bought on the bottom part of the cart, right on top of the bolt of fabric. If they had forgotten about it, they would have seen it at that point and said, "Oh crap! I forgot about this." But no, they were intentionally trying to steal it.

By the way, the Reese candy wrapper was laying inside the cart, not paid for either.

Finally it was our turn. As we unloaded our few items, we asked the checker if she got the bolt of fabric on the bottom of the cart of the candy they ate while they were in line. She was surprised, excused herself and ran after them. She came back with the fabric and said they said they'd be back to pay for the candy. When I mentioned that that was a load of crap, she agreed.

Then we laughed at the lady who looked in her bra for more money.

The checker thanked us profusely, and we felt good for doing our good deed for the day.

So no matter how good the deals are at WalMart, I'm not sure I can be associated with a store who has that kind of clientele. I mean, are those the kind of people drawn to WalMart, or are those the kind of people who shop at midnight? It's an interesting question...

Mixed Emotions

It's official. I handed in my letter of resignation Thursday. What follows is the conversation I had with my manager...

Manager: What's this? (as I hand her the envelope containing the letter)
Jessica: A letter.
M: A letter? I usually don't like to get letters.
J: Yeah, you're probably not going to like this one...
M: Come sit down. (as she's opening and reading the letter) You're going to do office nursing? Do you think you'll like that?
J: I hope so!
M: Can I ask why you're leaving?
J: The things that are happening here just aren't cool. It's not cool when 3 or 4 patients are sitting on the bench waiting to be seen.
M: I'm working really hard to get more nurses.
J: I know you are and I appreciate that, but it's going to take more than just bodies to make it better. It's not cool to labor patients in the hall. It's not cool to labor patients in the anteroom. I heard the big wigs say, when they came to the unit the other day, that they had no more rooms to give us, and I'm not going to wait until 2009 for the new tower to be built. (What I wanted to say was, unfortunately, it's going to take someone dying for people to realize that we need help, and I'm not sticking around for that to happen. God forbid it be my patient. I'm NOT losing my nursing license for (insert name of hospital here.)) Plus, the other day I came in early to help and ended up working 14.5 hours without a break, and at the end of the day, I never got a thank you, appreciate your hard work, kiss my ass, nothing.
M: I'm sorry.
J: It's not your fault. It's just that I don't think it's right to dread coming to work. I'm not having fun anymore.

Then she said some nice things about how it would be sad to see me go and how everyone would miss me and things like that. I left her office on good terms.

But what really got me is that while we were talking, she got teary-eyed. I know she works her ass off to try to make things better for us, and the last thing she can really afford is to lose (another) nurse. I know she is beyond frustrated. What bothers me is that I truly love the people I work with - they are a fantastic fantastic fantastic group. I know that my leaving is like bailing on them - losing a body makes everyone left have to work harder to pick up the slack. THAT is what I feel the worst about.

But as numerous people told me Thursday, I have to do what is best for me. I know that in my head, because truly I wasn't happy there, but in my heart, I'm upset by it.

Then later in the day, another manager came up to me and said...

M: I'm sorry we drove you away.
J: You don't have to apologize. It's wasn't anything one person could apologize for and make it better. It's just not cool, what's happening here, and I don't think you should have to dread coming to work, and that's what I do.
M: Well, it will be a big loss to the unit to have you leave. Everyone loves you.

That made me feel good - that I'm that much of an asset, worker wise and personality wise.

I just can't seem to shake the thought though that I'm a weiner - that I've only been at this a little over 2 years and I'm already burned out. Like, who am I to be burned out - I haven't even experienced much yet. How much of a pussy am I that I run at the first sign of things getting tough? I'm having a really hard time with this...

Yum, yum!!

I just saw this on Dave Barry's blog and had to post it.

"Product Details: Totally gross! You know what we're talking about. You've skinned your elbow while crashing your bicycle getting extreme over a gnarly jump in your neighborhood. You cry to your mommy and she gently places a bandage over the bloody spot. Two days later, you peel back the bandage to re-assess the damage. That same spot is now oozy in the middle and crusty at the edges! SO NASTY! You know you want to lick that puss spot.... don't deny it.... and now you can.... with Candy Scabs! Each pack includes candy scabs and 5 plastic bandages which are stickable just like a real bandage. A plastic compartment on the bandage opens to reveal a pressed dextrose candy scab. Open the compartment, lick the candy, and reseal for licking later! Unit Price = $1.65/scab. Display box contains 12 packs of Lick Your Wounds Candy Scabs. Shipping Weight ~ 2 lbs. "


Now seriously, I am not much of a candy guy to begin. Starburst, Twix, Kit Kat, Reeces Peanut Butter Cups, and those mini Snickers are all I really like. There is no way in hell I would try this. It is just to gross. I KNOW, it is JUST candy. However, I just have that feeling that I would get that warm saliva, I am about to barf feeling if I had one of these in my hand to try. I just couldn't bring myself to do it just because of what it looks like. Maybe as a kid, I would have been able to. Maybe. I just know, I can't do it now. So, are you with me, or are you a sick freak?

FREEDOM!!!

Yesterday was supposed to be the day, but instead the call came today.

THE call.

The call offering me freedom from the abuse I get at the hospital. The call offering me freedom from 12+ hour shifts without breaks. The call offering me freedom from unsafe working conditions. The call offering me weekends and holidays off. The call offering me a relaxed schedule with a laid back, fun group of people. The call offering me less stress.

AND I GLADLY ACCEPTED!

When I go to work tomorrow, I'll hand in my letter of resignation, effective October 1st, and I start my new career on Monday, October 2nd. I am SO excited!!

Weekend Update

Well, unfortunately, I did not get to meet Tony Todd this past weekend. He got tied up with filming a movie in Canada and couldn't make it. He promised to make it for the next convention in December. Oh well!

I played two very small poker games with a few of my buds this weekend and won them both. It felt good as the previous weekend, I didn't win money in my home tournament for the first time in 9 tournaments. Seeing as how only the top 2 0r 3 win money out of 10-14 people, this was bound to happem eventually, but it was still disappointing. Winning both of the small games this weekend helped bring my spirit back up. I am now about $725 in the positive playing poker with my friends this year. Not too shabby!

Fall Schedule TV schedule

Well, tonight the Fall tv schedule officially starts for me so I thought I would do a recap of what we watch:

Sunday
America's Funniest Home Videos - Jessica LOVES this show. Always good for a good laugh.
Simpsons - May not be quite as funny anymore, but still a great show.
American Dad - Not the greatest, but it is in between what we watch so it goes on our viewing schedule.
Family Guy - Funny just for how shocking it is. At least once an episode, we wonder how they can get away with what they do.
War At Home - Another show we like just because it seems so wrong sometimes. Plus, we like Michael Rappaport or as we call him, Remy.

Monday
24 - Doesn't premier until January or so, but we love this show. It would be about 100 times better though if they killed off Chloe - the worst actress on tv.
Heroes - Thinking about giving this new show a try. We'll see...

Tuesday
House - Awesome, awesome show that we just started watching in the summer. Starts TONIGHT!
Scrubs - Supposed to start back up sometime in January or February. The funniest show on tv is also very touching.


Wednesday
Lost - No explanation is needed as to why we watch this show. LOVE IT!!!

Thursday
Survivor - Still watching this show after all these seasons, but still bitter that they have not chosen me yet to be on the show. Bastards! I have an upcoming post on the new Survivor controversy coming letr this week...
CSI - The only CSI that we watch. Tied with Lost as the best show on tv today.
OC - Guilty pleasure show much like Melrose and 90210 was. Should be better now that Marissa is dead.
My Name is Earl - We stated watching it simply because we love Jason Lee and it turned out to be one of the funniest shows on tv. Love it!


So there ya go. That is basically what we watch besides the occassional documentary/medical show in Discover or TLC. Or Dirty Jobs. Now THAT is a funny show. But for network tv, there you have it...

Two Goodbyes

Sunday was a sad day as I had to say goodbye to two people in the category of more famous than me. One I will never see play professionally again while the other has left this world forever.

Today, Andre Agassi played the last match of his professional career as he lost in the third round of the US Open. He had said going in that this would be his last tournament of his career so I watched his three matches with anticipation of what would happen. Today, he finally played his last match and it was truly a sad event. He has always been my favorite tennis player and inspired me when I played on the varsity tennis team in high school. Always the emotional player, he bawled on the court after he lost and thanked the fans in a really touching way. It was sad to see him go.

That was the only goodbye I planned for today and then I heard of a tragic death just minutes ago. Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, was killed today in an accident where he was stung by a sting ray. Apparently, he died instantly. You know, as crazy as he was, I never figured that he would die on one of his expeditions. I thought maybe he would get injured badly, but never die and die instantly at that. He truly was a great entertainer and had a great passion for his work. He will be truly missed.

The Interview

Sorry I couldn't get to you sooner to tell you about the interview. Thanks for being patient.

It went really well. We talked for 30 minutes. I met 2 of the 4 doctors. They asked me why I wanted to change jobs (I gave them the reason of having the same schedule as Manuel, not that I am tired of being abused and unappreciated at work.) They asked me why I applied for this job (I told them I like patient teaching, I like being a resource for people - it's my favorite part of what I do now.)

They said that they are a tight-knit little family. They are relaxed and laid back. They laugh and have fun. In fact, I made one of the ladies laugh so hard she snorted (I asked what their patient population was, like, do they have teeth?)

Then they laid it on me. Apparently this position doesn't exist - I would not be filling an existing position. Instead, the person who takes this position will develop the entire prenatal program at the office - from designing a comfortable, welcoming room where the histories and interviews can take place, to developing a "cheat sheet" list of the patients and their issues so the on-call doctor can quick look to see who they're talking to, to attending conferences with the docs on the hi-risk patients.

They flat out said to me, "Your opinions, ideas and input will be taken seriously and valued."

I'll be valued. Imagine that...

I should know on Tuesday. My fingers and toes, Manuel's fingers and toes, my mom's fingers and toes are all crossed.

Night Panther rocks, US Basketball does not

A BIG BIG thanks to Night Panther for fixing my text size. The explanation he gave for how to fix it shows me that it was definitely an accident, something that is actually easy to accidently do with a touchpad on a laptop. But, I'm all fixed and can now read my teenie text. Give him a visit on my sidebar.

I have also added two new links two the sidebar which is also now in alphabetical order. My cousins Jennifer and Allison have taken it upon themselves to open their own blog after reading this one for a while. Go visit them at Crazy Bitch Blog. I have also had Jose's blog, Joe Cool's Blog. Jose, from Arizona is a Hispanic, family-oriented man who has written some funny and thought provoking posts since I started reading him. Give him a read.

Finally, congrats to US Basketball for their third place finish at the FIBA World Championships. This is an amazing achievement. SARCASM!!! Ok, third would be great for the US Soccer team, but not US Basketball. I am tired of getting pushed around by teams we should beat. We have most of the best players in the best league. So why haven't we won a tournament in basketball since 2000? Well, the other coutries have caught up to us while we haven't really improved. And frankly, the other teams just simply play a better team game. The international game is different and we have not adapted to that yet. From 1992-2000, it didn't matter because are players were jsut far superior to the other players that we could just rely on our individual skills alone. Not anymore. We have to adjust and it hasn't happened. It will be interesting to see how we prepare for the Olympics in 2 years. We might be better off just sending one of our good NBA teams, preferably one will mostly Americans who don't rely on a foreign player(getting harder to do now)because they know how to play as a team already. I think the Heat might have had a better chance in this tournament. Just speculation, but it would be fun to see. Heck, send the Kings!!!