Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Devil Dies Hard

I would actually watch my movie collection goal a lot quicker if I didn't have a goal of reviewing every movie.  There have been a few times where I have had the time to watch a movie during work and I have ended up just watching TV because I knew I didn't have the time to write the review.  Rather than create a huge backlog of movie to review, I just hold off.  Not very efficient, but it is what it is.

So what has been up lately?  Um, I turned 35 and I had an amazingly awesome birthday party like always.  I even hired a mariachi band.  I've been struggling to reach my goal of 50 pounds lost, having been around the 45-47 pound mark for a few weeks or so.  I'll get it soon, hopefully.  Even though the title of this post refers to the movies I am about to review, it also refers to my struggle with weight.

I like food.  Better yet, I like unhealthy food.  Try all you want, you will not convince me that a nice salad or something else considered healthy is better than a burger.  I am not going to sacrifice my happiness and stay good all the time in order to achieve my goal quicker.  I'm just not.  But the problem I face is that any time I eat anything not on my weight watchers diet, I not only gain but I gain a lot.  I could have a couple bad meals, nothing crazy like a buffet or something, but a burger one night and pancakes for breakfast, etc, and I will end up about 3-7 pounds up by the end of the weekend.  It is frustrating to see people eat whatever they want and stay a consistent weight while I need to work my ASS off both in diet and in exercise in order to work off what I gained each week.  It has made this whole process slow going.  I am proud of what I have achieved so far, but if only I had the ability to actually keep off weight that some people have.  Anyways, let's review some movies!

Movie Review #75 - The Devil's Rejects

Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.

You will never hear Free Bird and not think of this movie after seeing it.  Well, at least that is the case for me.  Rob Zombie's follow up to House of a 1000 Corpses was such a pleasant surprise when I saw it.  House of 1000 Corpses was just odd.  It had its moments, but there was nothing memorable about it other than the weirdness.  I rented Rejects out of pure curiosity and was so glad I did.  No longer an attempt at a horror movie, this is a straight crazy serial killers on the run film that is vile, bloody, harsh, and awesome.  The characters are sick and yet so awesome to watch.  The main authority trying to catch them is a total asshole and so you find yourself rooting for the villains because they are just more likable to watch on screen.  They are pure evil, some of the most evil put on screen, but it is a fun ride.  7.5 out of 10 cheeseburgers

Movie Review #76 - Die Hard

Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.

C'mon, it's friggin' Die Hard!  Do I even need to review it.  This is the movie that brought us the bad ass Bruce Willis (Moonlighting does NOT count).  This movie introduced us to John McClane.  This movie brought us the every day action hero.  They didn't need to have muscles up the wazoo.  This movie brought us a genre of movie that was copied so often after this (Die Hard on a bus, Die Hard on a plane, Die Hard on a boat, etc).  But this movie isn't just a movie that laid the groundwork so that other movies could improve on it.  No, it set the bar at an extremely high level and not many action movies can even come close to it.  It has just about everything you want in an action movie - great action, good humor, a cool hero, and an amazing villain.  Yes, I am not sure this movie would be as good as it is if it wasn't for Alan Rickman in the Hans Gruber role.  He is absolutely perfect.  Between him and Willis and a great supporting cast, I am not sure this movie can be topped in the action category.  9.5 out of 10 cheeseburgers

Movie Review #77 - Die Hard 2: Die Harder 

Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. Eggnog, a fuckin' Christmas tree, a little turkey. But, no. I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can. 

With the success of Die Hard, you knew there would be a sequel.  And this is before the age we live in now where almost everything gets a sequel, usually within a couple of years.  You fear that a sequel will ruin the legacy of the original film by giving us an unnecessary film.   This movie, while not as good as the original, thankfully does not ruin anything.  It has a fun story and Bruce is just as awesome.  William Sadler doesn't quite match the evil awesomeness of Rickman, but not many people can.  This film has a few ridiculous moments, but this is a trend in the series, especially after this one, so you ignore it.  It has exactly what you want out of it - John McClane, pretty much on his own, trying to save the day while spewing as many wisecracks as he has time for.  8 out of 10 cheeseburgers

Movie Review #78 - Die Hard with a Vengeance 

I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed off about it. 

A third movie in the series?  Can they possibly sustain the awesomeness?  As a matter of fact, yes they can.  Not only that, but they improved from the second film.  Bruce is just as awesome in this, but the film becomes a buddy cop like film with the addition of Samuel L. Jackson and the two are absolutely perfect together.  They way they feed off each other is absolutely hilarious and the connection between the two is what makes this movie so great.  Well, one of the reasons.  The little games or brain teasers that the villain, Simon, sets throughout the film also make it quite enjoyable.  Jeremy Irons is great as the villain, but again, he is no Hans Gruber.  And his henchmen, while a clear attempt at the copying the henchmen from the first one, don't come anywhere close.  But man, what a fun movie.  Great action and humor that is not matched in any of the other Die Hard films.  8.5 out of 10 cheeseburgers

Movie Review #79 - Live Free or Die Hard

You just killed a helicopter with a car! 

Yes, the film starts with an L, but like I said when I first started this journey, I will keep the series films together even if that means I need to go a little off alphabetical order.  To me, this is Die Hard 4 despite what the title is. 

I never thought I would get a 4th Die Hard film and once this movie was announced, I was as giddy as one person could be.  I would get to see John McClane on the big screen again.  But would it suck?  Thankfully, the answer is NO.  Well, at least in my book.  I know some people didn't like this film, but I LOVED it.  And I still do.  Sure, some of the action scenes in this film are BEYOND ridiculous, but I don't go into action movies hoping that the films will be as realistic as possible.  That's just stupid.  I just want to be entertained and if some of the action scenes are a little over the top, then so be it.  I got Bruce Willis still being his bad ass self, some good humor, some good action, a pretty decent villain, and some good side characters.  What more do I want?  Well, for a Die Hard film, I don't want anything more than that.  8.5 out of 10 cheeseburgers.