Thursday, December 29, 2005

Who needs babies?

It seems everyone I know is pregnant. A good friend would be happy for them. Not me. I am jealous beyond belief. The green-eyed monster has a hold on me like you wouldn't believe. The other day we found out one of our friends is pregnant, and we saw her that same day. I didn't talk to her at all about it, didn't even congratulate her. I'm so terrible...

It's just hard when the only thing you want in the world is to have a baby. We've been trying for a year and a half with no luck. It's so hard, so disappointing, so frustrating. Our friends are good people, would be good parents and are deserving so I feel even worse that I'm not really happy for them. But we are good people, would be good parents and are deserving too...

Everyone who knows we're trying says that it will happen when the time is right, and I know that in my head, but my heart doesn't understand. So in the meantime, I'm separating myself from it. It is just too painful. Don't expect me to ask you questions about your pregnancy, gush over your growing belly, or go to your baby shower and really have a good time. If this makes me a terrible, selfish, self-centered person, I'm sorry. I just can't constantly be reminded of what I desperately want and can't have.

But I've come to a realization (maybe this is me trying to fool myself into thinking I don't really want babies, but whatever works...) I have 2 great dogs that I love and treat just like kids. I feed them, bathe them, teach them, take them to the doctor, play with them, hold them, cuddle them, and in return, they follow me everywhere I go and know Manuel and I as "Daddy" and "Mommy." They are wonderful and make me very happy, and really, isn't that what it's all about? Kids, dogs, whatever...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Would You Rather...

We got a few of these books for Christmas (NOT '"The Holidays") and have been having fun going through them. We're getting tons of ideas, some of them quite putrid, as this one is. Good luck with this one. Personally, I'd rather kill myself than actually do either. But remember, you HAVE to choose one...

Would you rather...

Stick your entire head up an elephant's butt


Lick a corpse clean after an autopsy?

This choice was actually in one of these books. Where do they come up with this stuff?!

So since I HAVE to choose, I'd stick my head up an elephant's butt. Licking a corpse is rancid, but licking a corpse clean after an autopsy is even more rancid. I shudder to think...

Left Behind

For the past 5 months or so, the only books I have read have been from a 12 part series called Left Behind. There was some magazine reading here and there, but these were the only books I picked up, mostly on weekends at open houses. Finally, a couple of weeks ago, I finally finished the final book. After 12 books and nearly 5,000 pages, I finished the series that I simply could not put down. So what's it about? Well, it's a religious series that doesn't have to be read by a religious person to be enjoyed. Basically, at the beginning of the first book, millions on the planet disappear which we learn right away are the ones who were strong believers in God. The rest of the people "left behind" eventually start dividing into two sides - a side that believes that if they believe in God, he will come back for them in seven years and a side who follows the new leader of the world who just happens to be the anti-christ. The suspense in this story was just amazing and also quite gruesome at times. It was very much like the Stephen King story, "The Stand." If you liked the book or movie adaptation, you will love this series. Yes, it's long, but the story is just amazing and hard to put down. There is SOME religious preachiness, but for the LARGE majority, anyone can enjoy this. My wife is almost done, loves it, and as I said before, she is not religious. My mother in law also read it after getting good recommendations from me about 3 books in. Simply put, it's a great story.

OK, stop the nonsense

This whole anti-Christmas campaign has got to stop. It seems like that is all I am hearing about lately; the newspaper, tv, the radio. You can't get away from it. Now, I understand that some people are not religious and that is ok with me. My wife isn't really a religious person, but she still says Merry Christmas. It's just a word. When you say Merry Christmas to someone, you are saying, "I hope you and your family have a happy day on the 25th of December. Most people (not all) are not saying, celebrate Christ our Lord Jesus on the 25th of December or else you are going to hell. Sure, there are SOME people like that but the large majority who wish you a Merry Christmas are simply wishing you a good day. But all of this controversy now and talk of changing everything to Happy Holidays is just sickening. Are we going to now shop for a holiday trees? Are we now going to sing holiday carols? Are we going to watch on tv, "A Holiday Story" and "How the Grinch Stole the Holidays?" Probably not, but if some people get their way, that appears what it might come to. And so what if you aren't religious and someone says Merry Christmas. I wouldn't get pissed off if someone said Happy Hanukah. I would just thank them and take the well wishes. GET OVER IT!!! Oh, and I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

A Fictional Short Story by Wes Slater


To answer the phone or not to answer the phone? I could not decide and yet the time was going to come when I would have to make a choice. I could only pick up my cell phone and stare at it in an attempt to make it ring. If it did ring and I answered it I would no doubt find out the truth. If I let it go unanswered then I would be letting go and moving on with my life. My bedroom walls were closing in on me as I sat in my chair staring at a TV screen. I kept changing the channels, but was so lost in my dilemma that it was an exercise in futility. It appeared nothing could free my mind from this psychological prison.
As I sat back in my slightly cracked leather chair and took a deep breath I could feel my entire body tense. The pressure was palpable and I was surrounded by a living space that had been turned into a shrine dedicated to one person. A smile crept across my face as I spun in my chair and absorbed the world I had created for myself. It seemed that if a reminder wasn’t on my body it was preserved in a time-locked capsule to make sure that moment in time was captured for all eternity.
I faced the window in my bedroom and looked down to my bed, which was overrun with inanimate objects that reminded me of Jillian. She had given me the navy blue bed sheets with carnation decorations that covered the twin-sized bed. The pillowcases matched the bed sheets and next to my pillows was a gift that had long outlived its initial usefulness. Snowflake was his name and he was a tiny white teddy bear given to me for a Valentine’s Day gift almost 3 years ago. It had been personalized with a black leather necklace with a pendant that spelled out Jillian’s name on it as well a see-through pair of undergarments. Snowflake made me feel comforted and safe and he even smelled like my Jillian. I swear I could smell Charlie Blue on any person because of how exposed I was to it every night. Not that I ever had any problems getting a good nights rest, but this bedspread always did the trick.
Getting up from my chair and laying on my freshly made bed, I closed my eyes and could still hear those words in my ear as if she was there on top of me whispering them into my ear. I always believed it was just the moment making her tell me she loved me, but that was always the allure of my Jillian. I never knew where she was coming from at any given moment. I opened my eyes and thought to myself how lucky I was to have a lock on my bedroom door. My father would not have approved of that kind of behavior.
The reminiscing was doing my heavy heart some good until I saw the picture frame face down on my desktop. It was no secret to the other people in my life that I was seeing Jillian, but they didn’t know the entire story. The picture frame was only open and standing when I was the only one in the room. I walked over to the frame and opened it up. The picture on the left side of the frame was my beautiful Jillian at her best. The picture to the right side of the frame was that of Junior, Jillian’s 7-year old son. It was always bittersweet looking into the eyes of a family that wasn’t my own. I was the world to one of them and a ghost to the other. Depending on my mood I could be found smiling at the sight of these pictures or crying.
I set the frame down and turned to face my door when I was struck with a happier memory. I could remember how corny I thought it would look in my room before I even did it. My friends for this one act would ridicule me, but it had to be done. I had never been given balloons as a gift before and I couldn’t just let them go by letting the air out and trashing them, so I did what any mentally challenged person would do for love. I deflated those balloons, framed them and hung them up on my door. One balloon read I Love You and the other had MI Amor embroidered on it. I couldn’t help but laugh at it because it wasn’t that long ago that my bedroom walls were covered in posters featuring bikini clad women. Now I had replaced them with balloons.
All this soul searching had me amazed at how the last three years of my life had come to be summed up by a room full of memories and one single phone call. I always had a feeling that it would all end badly because it was always going to come down to a simple question for Jillian. Him or me? He was there before me and had taken her down the aisle, but I was the one who made her feel like she was a princess. I didn’t know it was possible to hate someone I had never met, but I discovered anything is possible. I always gave Jillian the benefit of the doubt because of her family situation and I felt ashamed that I could not do more to be able to help her out of the life she had committed to long ago. But she never made it easy for me to think I was her number one choice. Feeling the necklace around my neck reminded me of that everyday.
The necklace had a pendant with a name on it and it read, "Cali." She would have been a year old this past week. I joked with myself that even a virgin could get lucky more than once on the first night. I did and the decision was made before I even knew it was a decision to make. I even helped Jillian pay for the procedure, but she wouldn’t let me go with her to get it done. I use to be able to tell myself that I can get through that kind of pain with her by my side, but as it turned out I was the only one going through any pain. For some reason, Jillian decided to come clean with me one day several months back and revealed to me that I was carrying a torch for a child that really never existed. But my love for Jillian wouldn’t let me simply turn my back to her. It altered my entire perception of reality and love.
My daydream ended immediately with the vibrations coming from my desk. It was my cell phone. Jillian had sent me a text message earlier in the day that she really need to talk with me and that it was important, but all this thinking had gotten to me. I was frozen and as the phone kept vibrating I could feel a tension leave my body as if I was finally letting go. She would never choose me no matter how long we keep this up. No matter what I did she would go home to him. Junior would always come before me. The phone stopped ringing. It was the first time I ever ignored her call. I didn’t feel any guilt or any need to call her right back. I had let go of my dream. Seconds later, I could hear tires squealing from a fast moving car right outside my house. I walked outside to see what the commotion was and was stopped cold by what was waiting for me at my front door. A dozen red roses and a bunch of balloons were on the ground and a tiny box was tied to the balloons. I picked up the box and opened it and revealed a platinum ring.
Was I wrong? Did Jillian finally choose me? With my mouth open I felt salty-water drip onto the ring in the box. What had I done?

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Lighting Sucks Yo - AGAIN

If you remember a couple of months ago, I posted about my friend's house in Oklahoma being struck by lighting. Well, what do you know, it happened again, IN THE SAME SPOT! Now, they say that lighting never strikes the same place twice. Obviously, that is not true. Needless to say, she is installing some sort of lightning rod on the top of the house to divert the lightning should it miraculously happen again.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Saturday was the season ending poker tournament at my house. After a long season of many tournaments, 10 of us gathered to win the year long prize pool and the coveted player of the year title that comes complete with a trophy. What a time for the best tournament of the year! This tournament lasted about 4 and a half hours and took many twists and turns. 6 of the 10 players had the chip lead at one point, many of them after being the short stack for a while. With 5 players left, I had the lowest amount of chips. However, I battled my way back and was even in chips with Jason as we went heads up. After a foolish move by me, he had 7 times as many chips as me. Again, I battled back, took the chip lead, and at 11:30, I was the 2005 poker champion. Yes, I won a stack of money, but being the player of the year among my friends means so much more. I can't wait for the new season to start January 7th!

The 5 Things That Pissed Me Off Last Week

#5 - The Kings still suck. You know, they are going to have to make some moves real soon because the ship is sinking. At almost a third of the way through the season, it is obvious that the problems probably aren't going to just correct themselves.

#4, 3, 2, 1 - Yes, the next 4 spots are taken up by one group of people - Christmas shoppers. What is it about the holiday season that just brings out the worst in people. At the stores, people just become grumpy, self-centered idiots. Yeah, it is more crowded out in the world and nobody likes that. Deal with it. That is what happens. And remember, YOU are not the most important person out there. It is bad enough when people are out walking in the mall, but it gets even worse when they are in the car. On Saturday, I drove to the bank and back home - a 10 minute trip. I almost got hit by FOUR different cars. Cars weaving in and out of traffic, cars trying to fit where they can't, and cars that just can't wait their turn. All in the holiday spirit! Just relax out there, slow down, use your head, and don't be an ass out there. You won't like me when I am angry.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Would you rather...

Would you rather immerse you naked body in a bathtub of cockroaches


dive naked head first into a pool of chewing tobacco spit?

Um... Yick to both, but since I HAVE to choose, I'll go with the cockroaches.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Something to believe in.

Sooooo. Once again it's that time to fulfill an obligation to my peeps. The year is almost over and I do what everyone does at the end of the year. What did I learn this year? I don't mean to go all Yoda on everyone, but I can't help but feel I have done ALOT of sitting in exile and thinking. I discovered a few things about myself and here it goes

A girl can make a guy do anything. THAT is so true.
I was an angry young man growing up and I blamed alot of people for all of my disappointments.
I finally found something to believe in, and I was so wrong.
I miss my family. Mostly I just miss her.
The end does not justify the means. EVER.
It is possible to have a CD by Chamillionaire, Craig David, and Fort Minor and still be cool. That one a is a thinker.
Moving out is cool. Guess this cooking thing is easy.
You can find friends in the strangest of places. Even MySpace.
I will never get tired of buying shoes.
Finally I must steal this from my man Ne-Yo. I am so sick of love songs, but why can't I turn off the radio?
Peace my peeps. Oh and a special shout out to Cassie. Thanks for the compliment because every writer wants feedback, good or bad. But an honest writer wants to have the effect that my writing has on you when you read my posts. Spread the virus kid. OUT!

Monday, December 12, 2005

What the Hell?!?!?!?

Man he's a weird dude...

The Five Things That Pissed Me Off Last Week

5- The gym I joined in JULY still hasn't opened yet. They keep delaying the opening because of building issues. I stopped by today and they said hopefully by the end of the week. Yeah right. C'mon..I need the exercise. Hurry the "F" up!

4- The Walmart by my house is nearing completion. Damnit....go somewhere else you bastards!

3- Comments, comments, comments. Yup, you've heard this all before. Maybe I need to repost that step by step instruction sheet on how to leave a comment. Have nothing to say, leave a, "Hey Manuel, you are so cool," or a "Hey, man I wish I was you, " or something of that nature.

2- Kings still suck. Sure, they ended the week on a two game winning streak and actually looked decent. It still doesn't make up for the monstrosity that was the beginning of the week.

1- The aformentioned bitch at the open house. I don't think I need to add any more to that.

Miami Vice BABY!!!

The trailer is out for the '06 version of Miami Vice! It looks friggin' AWESOME!!! Go see it now at Yeah, it is weird that it is on this website, but it must be a sponsor or something. Anyway, I cannot wait for this!!! GO GO GO and leave me a comment on what you think...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

I gotta quench my thirst

Another news article for ya (although nobody ever seems to comment on these articles; WTF?):

Police: Officer used Taser in fight over soda
6-year veteran charged with assaulting his partner in Michigan incident

HAMTRAMCK, Mich. - A police officer has been charged with using a Taser on his partner during an argument over whether they should stop for a soft drink.
Ronald Dupuis, 32, was charged Wednesday with assault and could face up to three months in jail if convicted. The six-year veteran was fired after the Nov. 3 incident.
Dupuis and partner Prema Graham began arguing after Dupuis demanded she stop their car at a store so he could buy a soft drink, according to a police report. The two then struggled over the steering wheel, and Dupuis hit her leg with his department-issued Taser, the report said. She was not seriously hurt.
Hamtramck police union lawyer Eugene Bolanowski said he expected Dupuis to hire a private lawyer.
Hamtramck is a city of 23,000 surrounded by Detroit.

So, I'm guessing these two had problems before, but what the hell!?!?!?! I would love to know what he was yelling at her as her body shook from the jolts of electricity going through her body. With anger issues like this, I guess it is a good thing he got fired from being a cop.


Ok, so I am doing an open house today and this is how it went with the last person who just came in. this older lady comes by and is looking at the house. I ask her, "Are you looking for something in the area?" as that is a standard question to see why the person is at the house. Her reply in a condecending tone was, "Now WHY else would I be her if I wasn't looking for something in this area?" ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?! THAT IS YOUR ANSWER?!?!?! I say to her, "Well mam, some people just like to LOOK to see what is for sale around where they live while other people just happen to be visiting someone in the area and decide it would be fun to look at a house." See, there are plenty of people who like to go to open houses for fun and have no real intention of buying. That is why we ask the question. She says, "Actually, I am not the one looking, I am looking for something in the area for my daughter." So after the bitchass answer you gave me, you AREN'T looking for something in the area. Your daughter is and you are just helping her? Wouldn't the appropriate answer be, "Actually, my daughter is but I am helping her look." How hard is that? I don't need some old grandma mouthing off to me with some comment like that. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 09, 2005


It is funny that a message can come from the unlikeliest of places. So, I am sitting there watching the new episode of Smallville and by the end of the hour I have learned something from the episode. One, I really dig Allison Mack. She plays Chloe Sullivan on the show. Second and most importantly, I was reminded of something that will always be true in all of our lives. No matter who is giving the message or what the message is, there will always be many different ways to interpret said message. Such a subjective thing lessons tend to be. I could sit here and describe to you an exact moment in my life and ask you what lesson I should have learned from it and more than likely it would not be the same as my own interpretation. In the end life is a series of questions that have two answers. Yes or no? Good or bad? left or right? Each answer will lead you to the next question and by the end of the day you have conducted your own pop quiz on life. I guess in this lil analogy the Final Exam in life youtake is either having to say I DO or I DON'T. Guess I won't have to answer that question this lifetime. :)

Would You Rather..

This week's choice brought to you by that sick and twisted Manuel...

Every hour, on the hour, would you rather...

Throw up for 5 minutes?


Have cramps and diarrhea for 5 minutes?

Yeah, those both suck... I'm gonna go with the cramps and diarrhea though because long-term vomiting eats away at your esophagus and teeth and all that. In the long run, I think the vomiting is worse on your body. Yick...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A poor choice...

So the US Postal service will be releasing stamps next year with superheroes. Unfortunately, they are releasing them with god-awful DC Comics characters. Yeah, this is the boy-nerd in me, but using Marvel characters would have been MUCH better choices that these wannabee comic icons. Since they used a total of 8 characters plus a comic cover they each appeared on, here are my choices for what would have been better decisions...

#1 - Wolverine - Of course, my favorite character and now very popular from the movies. There is talks of a Wolverine spinoff flick coming after the third X-Men film.

#2 - Spiderman - Yeah, his movies have been doing pretty well wouldn't you think?

#3 - Incredible Hulk - Even though the film was a traveshamockery, he is still one of the most recognizable heroes today.

#4 - Captain America - Just as patriotic as Superman without the stupid cape.

#5 - Punisher - The movie was decent, but a badass like him deserves his own stamp.

#6 - The Thing - Didn't see see the movie although I heard it sucks. Still, how can you not include him?

#7 - Thor - He's the friggin' God of Thunder! He even made a special appearance in Adventures in Babysitting.

#8 - Silver Surfer - Just a cool guy. Made it onto a Joe Satriani album

There you have it. Much better choices. Hell, I could have chosen better characters using supervillians. DC COMICS??? Yuck....

P.S. After posting this, I quizzed Jess. She knew about 3 or 4 of the DC guys, but knew ALL of the Marvel guys. Hmm, I rest my case.

Oops..I can't count. The stamps have TEN heroes and I only included 8. So, I get to add 2 more even though most of you have read this by now(or skipped it because it is just comic characters). I am going to spend these last 2 picks on lesser known characters who deserve more fame.

#9 - Ghost Rider - One of my lesser known favorites and coming to the big screen soon staring Nicholas Cage.

#10 - Gambit - One of the X-Men. Why hasn't he been in the movies???

The 5 things that pissed me off last week

#5 - The doctor's office visit that Jessica mentioned below.

#4 - The X-Men 3 Trailer premiered online and I cannot for the life of me get it to work on either of my computers!!!

#3 - 7 total hours of open houses last weekend and TWO total people that I saw. Just pitiful. Got some good reading in then.

#2 - The bad play I made in poker on Saturday. If you are not sure what I am talking about, read the post below.

#1 - The Kings look like garbage. They look done. This might just be a lottery team. It is sad to see after a good number of years of being an elite team. The days are gone I am afraid. Maybe it will weed out all the fans who just became fans when they started being good. That is just fine with me. Let's see the Kings became a bad team and see what fans stick around. Only about half I am sure. It will almost be nice. There are too many Kings fans out there right now who only know how to support a winning team. Are you any less excited about a Kings game on tv if they probably aren't going to win and maybe get blown out? Then you are one of the fans I am talking about. See ya around...

Monday, December 05, 2005

C' can't be serious!!!

File this under, "What the hell?!?!?!"

Assault thrown out -- sleep sex blamed

TORONTO, Nov. 30 (UPI) -- A Toronto man has been acquitted of sexual assault charges, as medical officials said he was asleep at the time, with a disorder known as "sexsomnia." Jan Luedecke, 33, met his victim at a party on July 6, 2003, and both had been drinking, the Toronto Sun reported. The woman, who can't be named, fell asleep on a couch and said she awoke to find him having sex with her. She pushed him off, then called the police. Luedecke claimed he fell asleep on the same couch and woke up when he was thrown to the floor. Sleep expert Dr. Colin Shapiro testified Luedecke had sexsomnia, which is sexual behavior during sleep, brought on by alcohol, sleep deprivation and genetics. The judgment outraged women's groups, the newspaper said. "This is infuriating. It's another case of the courts not taking a woman seriously, adding yet another list to the list of excuses which men use for sexual assault," said Suzanne Jay, of the Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centers.

There is a diagnosis for this? My favorite part is where the doctor said one of the things that can bring it on is alcohol. REALLY?!? Alcohol can bring on raping a woman? Never heard of THAT happening! This is just sickening...

Sunday, December 04, 2005

What a doofus!!!

So last night was the regular poker tournament we have at my house every two weeks. We were down to about 6 players when I made the following dumb play. Everyone folded to me so that it was just me and Duncan to follow. I thought I would mix it up and raise him big just to get him out and I would win the blinds. I looked at my cards at an ugly 8-4. I thought, well, this could go two ways, I could get him to fold or he calls my bluff which isn't always a bad thing. I think I have a reputation as being a fairly tight player so getting caught on a big bluff only makes the rest of the players think about my bet the next time. Sure, I lose money on that hand, but think of it as poker equity for later. So I raised about 3 or 4 times the big blind. Duncan thought and thought only to fold. I was about to flip them over to show my bluff only only for someone to yell out, "Wait, there is still someone in the hand!" WHAT?!?!? Then I realized, before it got to me, Joe had put money in the pot. HOW COULD I MISS THAT!?!?!? I would have never tried something like that if someone had put in chips before me. What an IDIOT! So now I am thinking, "FOLD FOLD." If he calls the amount of chips I have in, he clearly has something good. The best I could hope for is to get really lucky on the flop. JUST FOLD!!!! So what does he do? HE RAISES ME AND PUTS THE REST OF HIS CHIPS IN!!! Now I know he has a great hand and I am forced to throw my cards in to the muck. What a waste! At least if he had just called I coul have gotten lucky. No chance though. Be aware of everything that goes on around you at the poker table so this doesn't happen to you. It hurt my stack, but I was able to slightly recover and take 2nd place. Still, what a doofus...

New Feature: Would You Rather...

Ok, so Manuel and I used to have a page-a-day calender called Zobmondo, and every day it would make you decide between 2 equally terrible things. I thought it would be fun to do here. So the rules are this: You MUST choose one of the choices, you CANNOT say neither because, in reality, all of us would choose neither.

Would you rather...

Eat a black widow (poison removed) in lime jello


Eat 100 live ants

My choice: 100 live ants. I think they'd be less crunchy than the black widow.

Friday, December 02, 2005

It's Official - Manuel's Gay!

Manuel and I were playing a board game while watching tonight's horrible King's game. The board game is called Pop Smarts. The point is to find the common link in categories like movies, music, books, TV and pop culture. For example, it was Manuel's turn and he got music. The common link was "pre-pubescent pop stars," so I say to him "Bobby Brown." He didn't get it (if you get it on the first one, you get more points than if it takes all 4 for you to figure out the link.) I say "Donny Osmond." No go. I say "Kriss Kross" and he guesses child singers, which I give him. So if you figure out the link, you get the chance to answer a question for a bonus point. So the question was "which of those sugary-sweet Hanson brothers plays the drums?" He got it right!!

So it's official. Because he knew anything about Hanson, he's gay.

Don't Be Shy...

Last night I had a patient who was 30 weeks pregnant (40 weeks is term) who was having contractions. For those of you who don't know, that's too early to have a baby, so contractions are no good.

So I do my paperwork and assessment and discuss with them what the plan was. The husband asked me why she was having contractions. I tell him there are lots of theories, but nobody knows for sure why contractions start - why some people go into labor on time, some too early, some never. But I tell him that there are some things that are treatable that make women have contractions, like dehydration and urinary tract infections. The following conversation ensues...

Him: So, can, uh, other things start contractions?
Me: Like what?
Him: Well, uh, like, you know, if we, um...
Me: Sex?
Him: Well, uh, yeah.
Me: Don't be shy. We embrace sex here because without it, we'd be out of a job. And hey, we all know what you did to get here, so don't worry about it.

And, the good nurse I am, I proceed to answer his question.

But really, you are a grown man, married with a job, capable of reproducing and preparing to bring a new human being into this world. Act like a man and sack up and just ask your question. Don't beat wround the bush like a shy, bumbling little teenager.

The Favorite Robe

The other night at work I took over the care of a lady who delivered her baby about an hour before. I walk into the room and she's laying there in bed with this short white robe on, only, it's not really on. It's open in the front so her boobs are just hanging out. Now, I deal with the most private of private parts for a living, so boobs are nothing for me, but still, most people don't just let them hang out for anyone and everyone to see. But whatever, it gets weirder...

After talking to the nurse that had the patient that day, she tells me the patient refused to take that robe off. She labored in it, her water broke in it, she delivered in it, so needless to say, it was pretty funky. So I get her up to the bathroom and of course, there's blood and who knows what else all over the back of it. I sit her on the toilet, she goes potty, and as she gets up, she realizes one of the waist ties fell in the toilet when she sat down, so now there's pee and blood all over it. She asked me to cut the dirty part of the tie off. I told her I didn't have scissors and offered to get her a clean gown, which she refused! So I took he to her postpartum room is this dirty ass robe. What else could I do?!

But EWWW!!! What's the attachment to that robe that she'd rather wear it, filthy as it was, over wearing a clean hospital gown? Weird...