Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Money-hungry whores!


Background: Manuel went to the doctor to have him check out some ankle pain he was having. He knew he didn't sprain his ankle and was wondering why it was hurting, and the pain was getting worse over a month, so he went in. The doctor had him do some lab tests to check for arthritis and had him do an x-ray. While he was there, his blood pressure was a little elevated, nothing concerning, but higher than it normally is, and he mentioned he thought it was because he had gained some weight. The doctor added a cholesterol to the lab work.

Ok, so we get a call yesterday from the doctor's office saying they want to talk to him about his lab results. I tell him they are going to tell him his cholesterol is high and to not make an appointment for that. Why pay $10 to see the doctor so he can tell you something you already know and tell you how to fix it, which you also already know? I tell him to ask if that's the only abnormal lab result, and if it is, don't make an appointment.

Well, they tell him they like to do things like that face to face, so being the good boy that he is, he makes an appointment.

And what do they tell him? That his cholesterol is high! And how high, you might be wondering? Surely it must be so high that they want to prescribe him a pill to lower it, right? Well, normal cholesterol is below 200. And the "bad" cholesterol, the LDLs, should be below 129. So Manuel's cholesterol is 203 and his LDLs are 131. 3 points and 2 ponts above normal, respectively! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

So he calls me to tell me about his appointment on his way home. He tells me all of the above, which really fires me up, obviously. But then he lets something out that sends me over the edge. He tells me he was looking at the lab results as he walked to the car and noticed the results for the tests for the ankle are high. SO THE LAB RESULTS FOR THE ORIGINAL REASON WE WENT IN WEREN'T DISCUSSED!!!!!!!!!!

By now I'm on fire and you know what I do? I call the doctor's office and give them a piece of my mind. They say they'll relay the message to the doctor and someone will get back to me.

I mean really... To never discuss the skewed lab results pertaining to the original reason we went in, but to tell him his cholesterol is 3 points high? I'd be ok with him making an appointment to discuss the abnormal lab results for the ankle, but that was completely overlooked. Unbelievable...


I guess this is my only getaway at times. Stare at a blank screen and fill it up with nonsense and randomness. I know we have all been posed that simple question in life. For love or money? And there are two answers to that question. But most people would tell you Love. What if you didn't have an answer at all? I pretend it is one or the other depending on the day of the week you ask me the question. I do not have a particular link to either love or money at this point in time. It is 230 in the morning and rather than getting drunk, getting high, or getting some I am in front of a computer screen. The simple follow up to all this would be to ask me if this helps? Does writing cure my disease? Is it the drug I seek to sustain my addiction? I simply say maybe. Cause I don't have love. I don't have money. And I don't have a love for money. Maybe I do have the answer to the key of life. SHOES!!! It is all about the shoes. If you have seen my closet you know what I am talking about. So when the world has got you down just go to the closet and wear a brand new pair of kicks baby! That solves all my problems. Except for one. Why did she make me give up my fairy tale? I haven't found the shoes to cure that cold. Later folks.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


I have made a discovery of epic proportions ladies and gentlemen. I know the sign that will reveal when I have officially become OLD. It may come sooner rather than later, but when it happens I need everyone to come up to me and call me OLD right on the spot. It is something that may never happen, but I know deep down that someone will discover the gold that is waiting for them. Sooo many songs have been remixed and redone and reprinted to the point that no one even remembers who the original artist who made the song was. There is one song that has not reclaimed it's national accalim and fame because I have yet to hear someone copy the original. So on the day some artist remixes this Grammy-winning record I will know that I am OLD and right. I present to you the song that will do this for me. "Blame it on the rain," by the talented duo of Rob and Fab. I give you MILLI VANILLI. :)

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Five Things That Pissed Me Off Last Week

Complete with an emergency room visit!!!

5. I hate my lawnmower. It never starts when I want it to. Usually takes me about 10 minutes and kills my arms by the time I get it started. I am going to shoot that thing!

4. Last week there were 120 visits to my number of comments left on my blog....EIGHT! What the hell?!?!? I am sorry that it takes SO LONG to leave a one sentence comment. With that many visits, is there really only that much that people have to say? Geez...

3. Orko pukes almost every day. What the hell?!?!

2. We got smashed in Turkey Bowl this year 42-14. In case you don't know what it is, my friends have a team that plays another group of friends in tackle football every Thanksgiving. It is a pretty big deal with shirts, an MVP shirt, and even a trophy. We won the last 2 years, but this year, things did not really work out. I came away from the game with a little road rash from the dry grass, but it wasn't really all that bad at first....or so I thought.

1. Well, the little scrape ended up wose than I thought. I cleaned it out and thought everything was ok, but by Friday night, it started to swell up like a balloon and was hot to the touch. The skin almost all around my leg was rock hard. It just didn't look good. I visited my wife at work and a couple of the other nurses told me I could use a visit to the emergency room. So I went and I was ok with that because by that time, I was in tons of pain. When they finally saw me, about 2:30am, I found out I had a bad infection that was spreading and I needed antibiotics. They ended up giving me a shot in my buttocks and was sent home with more antibiotics and Vicodin. Yeah, it really sucked. From a scrape I've got plenty of other times before in soccer games.

How can you be this dumb?!?!?!?

So, my wife always cuts my hair. She always does a good job and has been doing it for a few years now. Unfortunately, the other day she had a brain fart. She always puts a guard on the razor so it doesn't cut TOO close. Well, this last time, she really messed up. Without thinking, she just started by placing the razor on my head, with NO GUARD!!! The enclosed picture is the monstrosity that was my hair after this screw up.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

What do you think of this?

I've been seeing lots of commercials on TV promoting the Army. In the commercials, they have a kid talking to the camera like it's a parent, and they're saying how they want to go into the military because (fill in the blank here), then the commercial encourages you to make the talk a 2 way street.

Now, this is actually a good commercial. I appreciate the people who do go into the military to help protect me and my rights and freedoms. Without them, who knows where we'd be. But this is the thing that bothers me about these commercials. I've seen 3 different ones so far, and in all of them, the kid is black. What are they trying to say? Are they recruiting blacks specifically, and for what reason? Why not make commercials with all nationalities - blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians? Does this sit funny with anybody else?

Saturday, November 26, 2005

You can't make this kind of stuff up...

News taken off the internet:

POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. - A man who was struck in the head by a train this weekend was also hit in the head by a New York City subway car three years ago, officials said Monday.

Parker T. Hall Houghtaling, of Stanfordville, 23, was hit in the head Nov. 18 by a Metro-North train as it pulled into the Poughkeepsie station. He was listed in stable condition Monday.
In 2002, Houghtaling was waiting at a subway station in Manhattan when he stuck his head out and was hit by a subway car. He was hospitalized with a shoulder injury, nose fractures and bruises, according to the Metropolitan Transit Authority.
It was unclear Monday what led to either incident.

OK, so, I don't even think this guy has an excuse for getting hit ONCE by a subway train. You don't stick your head out over the tracks as it is coming. I mean, that may just sound like friggin' common sense, but apparently, he didn't realize that. However, this jackass was so dumb that it happened to him again. I really have no words for this. There is nothing that can be said that can make this make sense. Unless there is some spirit that likes to push his head into oncoming trains, this guy deserves everything coming to him. In fact, I hope he gets hit a third time. We don't need people like this procreating.

R.I.P. Pat Morita 1932-2005

Wow, another death in the entertainment world that hits me hard. In fact, this one hurts even more. I mean, it's Mr. Miyagi for Christ's sake! And for some of you, he's always going to be Arnold from Happy Days. This guy just seemed to be so genuinely good, you wished he was your grandpa or someone else close like that. Maybe this one hurts so much because in the movies, he almost did remind me of my own grandpa. Same mannerisms and goofy humor. It's just a really sad time. I might have to watch my Karate Kid DVDs this week. I learned that Morita had spinal tuberculosis as a child and spent most of his life up until age 11 living in hospitals. Once he was finally better, and ready to live at home, he had to face more reality. He and his family were sent to a Japanese internment camp as it was WWII. He definitely overcame a lot to get where he ended up. So long Miyagi-san.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The 5 Things that pissed me off last week...

Wasn't too pissed off last week...

5. Orko keeps pooping in his crate when we leave him alone. He WON'T go outside when we tell him to, but once we put him in his crate and we leave...dookie time. Dumb dog.

4. Kings couldn't hold on to the lead against the Sonics. Yes, they lost Peja basically, but they should have held on.

3. Still not much going on in the real estate field. I have ton of leads and people I am working with, but need something to actually go through.

2. Made a dumb call in my poker game last weekend. It was down to just me and Joe in a nine player tournament. He went all in and I thought he was actually bluffing from fatigue. I had bottom pair, a flush draw, and an open ended straight draw. I called. Turns out, he already had the straight and he took a commanding lead. A couple of hands later, I was out when my ace/queen ran in to his ace/king. Good night. Won some money, but I wanted the $140 first prize.

1. I am not going to go to much in to this one since this will have a post all on its own, but let's just say, while my wife was giving me a haircut, there was a mishap. Pictures to come soon...

Holy Schnike!!!

Yes, I ate paint chips as a kid...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Chris Klein is a catch women!

Chris Klein, best known for the American Pie movies (somehow he was to good for the 3rd one), is a complete jackass. I am not sure how he thinks he will ever get another date again, but he made some pretty interesting comments in the latest Elle magazine. These quotes courtesy of You have to read these...

“I don’t need food to impress, man,” boasts the cocky “American Pie” C-lister. “It’s a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she’s cooking the food.”
Chris, 26, a self-described “alpha heterosexual” who only dates “8 to 10’s,” also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he’s seeing gains a few pounds.
“I’m not tolerant of that at all,” declares the actor, who says he has no problem telling his swollen squeeze to shape up.
“When a woman isn’t feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she’ll ask you if you like her body,” he pontificates. “You have to say no.”
Klein then rejects the interviewer’s suggestion that “they’re just looking for you to say, ‘You look beautiful to me, honey.’” “If they do, it’s placating,” he scoffs. “I don’t placate.”
A few other gentlemanly gems from the chat include Chris describing wooing a woman as a “predator-prey situation” and admitting he stays “very closed off until a woman deserves to know me completely.”
Asked if this approach makes it tough for potential partners to unravel the enigma that is Chris Klein, he sneers, “Hey, man, I’m not here to hold hands and babysit. She’s got to come to the table with something.”

WOW! Unreal isn't it? Almost makes Katie Holmes leaving him and going on to Tom Cruise look like a good thing. I would love to see a non-celeb get away with dumb comments like this.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


The 5 Things that pissed me off last week

#5 - Someone threw tons of tomatoes in our backyard! Now I have to clean them all up. What idiot just randomly throws a bunch of tomatoes in someone's backyard. IDIOT!

#4 - Went to Applebees before the King's game last Tuesday and I think I had the worst burger I have ever had. Plus, the service was pretty crappy. IDIOT!!

#3 - Kings suck. They are playing like crap! IDIOTS!!!

#2 - Last week at work, I got a floor call. The guy was all excited because some property he has wanted forever just came on the market and he wanted it for his tax business. He said that he couldn't go see it until Monday though. I hate to put it off until then, but you do what you have to do. Yesterday morning as I am getting ready to go meet him, he calls and says nevermind and that he doesn't want it after all. IDIOT!!!!

#1 - The death of Eddie Guerrero. I am not mad at him of course and I am more sad than mad, but it is still the event that affected me the most last week. The tribute show last night was just heart wrenching, but a very nice tribute. "LATINO HEAT!"

Monday, November 14, 2005

R.I.P.- Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005

It is a sad day in the world of wrestling entertainment. This guy was easily one of my favorites for his charisma and skill in the ring. Eddie didn't just entertain, he had actual physical wrestling skills. He was just a joy to watch and I am going to miss not seeing him in the squared circle anymore. I don't know what it is, but this really hurts.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Colin kisses dudes

You know, when guys kiss, whether it be by custom or whatever, I think it is usually the whole cheek- kiss thing. When it is huge smooches like this, I think it can get a little weird. I think a kiss on the lips betwene men should be reserved for a) gay men or b) a mafia member. Now, I am not homophobic or anything, but Colin looks way to cozy with this other guy. Maye it is Colin's hand holding the other man's head. Is he gay? I am sure not. It is Colin Farrell though so he could also be drunk. Actually, since it is him it is a strong possiblity. Or, you know what, he could be that secure in his masculinity that he doesn't mind kisses like this with men. Me personally, I could never do it. Does that make me more of a man or less of one. Thought to ponder.

I actually know who the other guy is. I will give the much coveted NO-PRIZE to whoever can tell me first who this is. I await your answers.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

File this under STUPID

You know, Hollywood is just running out of ideas. Sequals, I don't mind as I might to want to watch a further adventure of a character. However, remakes are something that I am not always a fan of. If you are going to remake something, at least do it WAY after the first movie came out... say 30 years or so. Now, two movies that are less than 20 years old are in talks to be remade. Two CLASSICS!

Can someone explain to me why you would want to remake these great movies? Ok, maybe in another 20 years, but now? They were perfect. Why change them? What, are you going to make it for a younger crowd and put Paul Walker in the jungle? Put Ashton Kutcher in the Robocop costume? Why, Why, Why?

However, in other news, there are talks of a Terminator tv show coming out. Now, before you ask why, it won't really be about the Terminator. The show is slated to be called the Sarah Conner Chronicles. This show is supposed to follow her life in between the 2nd and 3rd films. I actually think this sounds pretty interesting. Since there were no Terminator attacks in this time frame, it will be more of her vigilante life rather that some scifi show. I'll watch it just out of curiosity.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The five things that pissed me off LAST week

A little delayed, but you still get the basic idea. This is is everything from last week up until Sunday night. So all this week ddoesn't count yet.

#5 - Still not enough comments from friends on here. What is wrong with you bums?!?!?!

#4 - Francisco Garcia and Kevin Martin - Garbage players.

#3 - Peja - Where is your heart you bum?!?!?

#2 - Sacramento Kings in general. Is there any passion left in this team.? Any heart? Any desire?

#1 - Oh, this is a good one. On Sunday at my open house, another agent from a different company came to look at my open house. She went upstairs. Another person came in. We chit-chatted. We talked a bit about Davis because she lived there and I went to college there. She told me she had tons in equity and was ready to move in to town. Awesome! She went to look upstairs. I went up one minute later. What did I see? The agent who came in was talking to her, giving the woman her business card, and was heard saying that they could leave now to go look at properties. So with my mouth wide open, they left, got in the agent's car, and took off to look at houses. She picked up a client at MY OPEN HOUSE. The balls of this woman. That BITCH!! I was so pissed. I just can't believe that there are people out there that are that shady. May she burn in hell.....

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Yes ladies an gentleman I have made a wonderful discovery. You have seen them walking around town. Business men and teenagers alike. They have come in polos and button down dress shirts. Pink is cool for men to wear. Frankly, for some men to wear but that is neither here nor there. Or anywhere for that matter. I simply pay homage to the man who was the first to do it up big and make pink COOL. He is the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Bret "The Hitman" Hart invented men wearing pink and I just wish to educate the uninformed. Thank you and Good night. Always remember. Risk is Good. By the way Manuel, yes I already got the Jake "The Snake" Roberts DVD and I will be getting the Bret Hart DVD. You can borrow them anytime.

And you're reproducing?

I had this patient who was going to go home, be we needed an ultrasound first. The ultrasound department was really busy and the patient ended up waiting about 3 hours. Naturally, she got hungry and asked for something to eat. I got her a sandwich, then went back to the front. I'm sitting there charting when the father of the baby comes up to me and we have the following conversation:

"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"You know the little red cherry tomato that came with the sandwich?"
"Well, it fell on the floor and I picked it up and she ate it. Is that ok?"
Pause... "Um, yeah. There's a lot that happens in those rooms though and the floors get kinda messy sometimes. We clean them, but still, I wouldn't make a habit of eating things that have fallen on the floor."

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but is that not a conversation you would have with a 4 year old?!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


So my five minute unloading will go like this..... I don't have compaints or things that piss me off. I don't have any lists to share or people to back or embarrassing humans to make fun of. I will abuse the english language and every grammar rule ever made, but in the end you will get the point. Maybe.

I am discovering more and more nowadays that I discover more things about myself and other people the more I get to know them. I think that through my subdued silence and emotional disconnect I have attained a certain expertise in what actual real emotion is. What motivates us all as people. What may follow are simply just questions that you can consider or ponder or throw out your mind just as soon as you read it. I guess I simply don't care if anyone gets it or cares or takes away anything from it, but through some prodding I have been pushed into doing what is the only thing that seems to come completely naturally to me. And no it's not scowling and being an asshole you jerks so stop pushing your buzzer cause Alex is not going to ask for your response.

Why do people LIE? It seems that I get such a response from genuine honesty that it boggles my mind that one would come to think a lie is a better option. People can come up with different reasons as to why they lie, but in the end it is all very simple. Fear. Of any number of things. Mostly of people really knowing who you are as person. When one lies they can misdirect others around them as to who they are and what they stand for. When one stands by the truth they are exposing themself to the onlooking eyes of the masses. Rare is the person that can stand on a stage and say, "JUDGE ME, cause I can take it."

Clarity is striking at times for it can come in the darkness of the late night hours. Clarity can also arise when surrounded by an entire room of family and friends. I can only challenege everyone. The next time you are faced with the option, what will you choose? Cause there is ALWAYS an option. The Truth is always out there, but can you handle the truth?

P.S. I know I ripped off the last sentence. DEAL with it! Peace.