Saturday, March 20, 2010


Sorry that is has been nearly a week since I have posted. It has been quite a life changing week. Not entirely unexpected by any means, but a definite change nonetheless. I'll start off with a couple of fairly normal picture of the day selections...

First of all, BOY, are we enjoying our spa. We are more relaxed when we go to bed and aches and pains seem to go away that much quicker! It is easily one of the best purchases we have made in a long time...

March 15th, 2010 - Day 291

Tuesday, we had friends over for a barbecue (and spa time, of course!). We had gone to the Farmer's Market on the previous Saturday and wanted to barbecue the pineapple we bought. Barbecuing the pineapple lead us to the decision to make shish kabobs. So behold, the almight shish kabob!

March 16th, 2010 - Day 292

Wednesday though, the celebrations ended. On Wednesday, Fran, Jessica's stepmother, finally lost her courageous battle with cancer. This obviously wasn't unexpected and we knew this day would come, but that did not make it any easier. In fact, even knowing that this was better for her in the end as she lingered the last few weeks, living the life she had told us she absolutely did not want to have at the end, it did not make things any easier. Thankfully, when the time finally came, it seemed to be very peaceful. I am also thankful that when she did pass away, I, as well as many loved ones were in the room, hopefully easing her way in the next life with the love that was in the room. I will miss her so much.

It is funny how when I started this picture of the day project last May, it was meant as just a way to practice my skills. When I look back at the project years from now, certain pictures will remind me of the year, as if it was less of a picture project and more of a photographic journal. I'll be able to look back and see the joy of baby news, the heartbreak of another miscarriage, the beginnings of happy marriages, and now the death of someone we all loved so much. The undertaking of this picture of a day project is more of a blessing than I ever imagined.

A little over an hour after Fran's passing, my sister and I were in the front yard and I got the idea to photograph some dandelions. Funny how what equates to a pesky weed, really set the mood for the day. Somehow, the blowing away of a dandelion seemed relevant and appropriate for the mood.

March 17th, 2010 - Day 293

And because I don't want to get too symbolic, here are two more pictures of dandelions I took that afternoon.



The next morning, we were back at the house so I could drop off Jessica and she could go with her dad to make the funeral arrangements. When we got there and got out the car, the first thing I saw was a Rainbow. Again, it seemed appropriate for the mood. Rainbows have always seemed like signs of hope and beginnings for me and seeing one at that moment seemed to fit nicely.

March 18th, 2010 - Day 294

Yesterday, Friday, we went to a funeral for Jessica's great aunt, because one death in the family to deal with apparently wasn't enough. She passed away suddenly a couple of weeks ago, the victim of someone else's careless driving. With everything going on with Fran, the sudden death of Aunt Phyllis really made me think of death and how we go. Fran, fought a brave battle with cancer, but suffered for a year and a half. On the other hand, she got to say her goodbyes. We got to say OUR goodbyes. Aunt Phyllis, presumabley never suffered. At least we would like to think that. But she never got to say her goodbyes. She didn't know it was coming and we were left with the, one minute she was here and the next she wasn't. Which is better? I can't say that I have the answer to that.

The flowers were beautiful at the funeral home, the flower below being no exception. I love how this picture came out. The framing of it seems to scream, "Look at me!" as the flower tries to hog the frame.

March 19th, 2010 - Day 295

Not really sure how to end a long winded post like this. I wish I could say that with Fran's passing, we can now move on. A few days later, it is no easier. Perhaps the funeral next Friday will be the first step.


nani said...

A very beautiful and poignant post my darling nephew. Today is the first day of Spring. New beginnings to be sure. The end of Fran's life is the beginning of a new chapter in your lives. Actually, all our lives. Things HAVE changed with her passing and will never be the same. Every day will bring memories and missing her. She was fortunate to have the time to enjoy her family and friends. She was lucky to know her end was near and be able to say good bye. She knew how much she was loved and that is a special blessing. I love your pictures, especially the rainbow. I too have always seen rainbows as a symbol of hope. Life goes on and there will be new, special joys this year. I pray for special joys for you and Jess. I love you. Hugs, Nani

Mom said...

Damn son - going and making your mother cry like that! but seriously, crying is all part of the healing process and I know there will be so much more!
Your beautiful, beautiful blog is such a good way to express yourself and gives us, and especially me, such an insight into what you are feeling - I love it! And, I agree, your pictures have really been so much more than just a picture - they really have told a story about yourself.
There are so many of your pictures that I want, but I think I'm just going to purchase the coffee table picture book of all 365 pictures. I will display it proudly on my coffee table!
I love you so much - a mom could never be as proud as I am of you!
One last note - however, on a bit lighter side, since it is necessary for me to wipe away my tears - but, don't you think you should have taken a picture of "your" shish-kabob. You know, the one with all the good veggies - the plain old chicken and pineapple version. He he!!! Love you!!!

Mom said...

I meant the one without all the veggies!

Miss Sassy Pants said...

Words cannot express how meaningful your words in this post are to me. Please just suffice it to say that I love you more than I ever thought possible, especially since you have been so good to Fran, Dad and me during this whole thing. A lifetime of thank yous would never scrape the surface. I am so very lucky to have such a loving, generous, kind, caring, supportive, talented husband. I shall keep you by my side for ever and ever and ever and see you later. (I can't be TOO mushy!!)

laura b. said...

I'm so sorry for your losses. This was a very touching, beautiful post and the photos added so much. You guys and your family are in my thoughts.

Churlita said...

I'm so sorry. At least she isn't suffering anymore. Here's to new beginnings...

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

That is so very sad to hear.. I saw your quick post on FB and I have just now gotten a chance to post something here.. My sincere condolences to you both and your families.. This post was a tearful one.. Those dandilions and the rainbow are quite fitting as a tribute to someone that you will dearly miss..

Sebastien Millon said...

I'm so sorry for your family's losses. Sticking together with your family and giving each other comfort is the best thing one can do.

Beautiful pics by the way, of course, specially love the symmetry of the dandelion...