A Grammar Lesson

Hi! I'm Manuel's wife and he invited me to be a guest-blogger. Thanks for the invite, hon, as you know I have some things to rant about too...

So my first and foremost rant, something that irritates me beyond belief, is misplaced apostrophes. I have made it my personal mission in life to educate the ignorant about misplaced apostrophes, something that you learn in 4th grade - and I should know, I live with a 4th grade teacher. So for all of you who were absent that day, here you go:

When a word has an apostrophe, it indicates possession, meaning something that belongs to someone. For example, my name is Jessica and I have a dog - Jessica's dog. I also have a house - Jessica's house. I am giving a grammar lesson - Jessica's grammar lesson. The point of this lesson: an apostrophe indicates possession.

So, with that in mind, when I go to Best Buy, why do I see signs that say: DVD's for $9.99? When I go to Safeway, why do I see packages that say: Ore Ida Pizza Mini's? When I'm driving down the street, why do I see a van that advertises: Errand's by Jane? What belongs to the DVDs? What belongs to the pizza minis? What belongs to the errands? The answer is nothing! Nothing belongs to the DVDs and the pizza minis and the errands because those are real life examples of today's lesson, misplaced apostrophes!

When there is more than one of something it is plural, and to indicate this, an s is placed after the word. For example, there is a CD on my desk. If there were four on my desk, I would have four CDs. Generally people sleep with more than one pillow - two pillows. I have a car and Manuel has a car, thus we have two cars. The point of this lesson: plural words have an s at the end.

Now, you must notice that nowhere in the plural leson did I mention apostrophes, did I? Then stop putting apostrophes in plural words!!!!! That's my point about misplaced apostrophes. It is WRONG to have a sign that says: DVD's for $9.99. If you were not absent that day in 4th grade Best Buy, you would know the correct way to write it would be: DVDs for $9.99. Likewise, Ore Ida, you packaging should read: Ore Ida Pizza Minis. And Jane, come on...

So there it is. My first blog and I feel like I have taken a huge step toward the education of America. Please feel free to share your examples of misplaced apostrophes. Be sure to include the offending company - I may just call and have a chat with them. I've done it before...