Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Top Five Tuesday #18

Yes, my first Top Five list since forever! I rule!I've been sitting on this one for a while. Don't read if you are easily offended because, well, it is kind of offensive and mean. But you know, sometimes you just have to have a little fun and my mischievous side won out on this one.

Top 5 things that would be fun and evil to do(but I would never do for fear of going to hell!)

#5 - When a bible thumper knocks on the door, say, sorry, and tell them I worship Satan before I close the door. I get tired of the bible thumpers that knock on my door. I am religious man myself and I respect what they do, but to me, they are just another salesman.

#4 - Put an "I Owe You" coupon in the collection plate at church. Again, another religious based one. Trust me, I am religious, but I like to have fun too!

#3 - Pull up to a car stranded on the side of the road and ask the person if they need some help. When they say yes, drive off and yell, "I'm really sorry to hear that," and drive off. Bonus points if the person is elderly.

#2 - When you are at a stop sign or first in line at a red light, honk at any pedestrian as they cross the street right in front of you. Bonus points again for the elderly or getting a kid to fall off his bike.

#1 - Sell girl scout cookies in front of the gym or a Weight Watchers meeting. This is the ultimate in mean. It is even meaner for someone overweight like me to come up with it. But hey, it is all in fun. I actually came up with this one when I was at the gym one day and I was working out on the machine facing the street. A kid walked by eating candy. A post was born.

Anything evil I missed out on that should be added to the list?

10 comments:

Churlita said...

Nice top 5. Irreverance can be very funny.

Anonymous said...

You are a very naughty boy but funny. Can't say I haven't thought of any of those myself.

Anonymous said...

I have chased away a Jehovah by proclaiming my allegiance to the dark lord. It was a riot. See if they ever come back to my house!!

I cannot think of any "not too evil" things I would suggest. It is a quality list and you should seriously try some of those...could be fun.

I am evil, after all.

laura b. said...

Evil, possibly...funny, definitely! Great list :-)

Mom said...

Wow - those were more than just mischievious. Did you not have a good night's sleep last night? All funny things to do but I do believe you would go to Hell!

Anonymous said...

Pete did tell some religous people at the door that he worshiped the Frog God.

Miss Sassy Pants said...

I've always wanted to tell a religious salesperson that I am too busy to talk to them, as I have to get right back to my virgin sacrifice. That would be AWESOME!

Tara said...

I LOVE #1. That is torturous. When I was a member of a gym, I used to hate using the bicycles because all the TVs on the ceiling were set to The Food Network!! Was that you who did that? The remotes were never in sight, either.

Oh and I like #5 too. I'm more spiritual than full-on religious, but I don't like the salesman aspect of the bible thumpers.

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

That was pretty evil and pretty funny.. Good job...Oh evil one..

dmarks said...

I've heard the jokes about making change in the offering plate.