SHUT THE F UP!

I have a friend at work who's having a baby, and I was invited to her shower. Manuel and I went to Target today to buy a gift off her registry. The list was really long, and instead of going the single-expensive-gift route, I wanted to go the lots-of-inexpensive-gifts route. I was kinda overwhelmed and was standing in the aisle, looking at the list.

This lady in a red shirt walks by and says, "Don't you just love baby showers?! All this fun stuff to choose from!"

I smile, nod and agree with her.

She continues, "I have a friend who's registered at Babies R Us but I can't afford those prices, so I came here to see if I could find the same things at lower prices."

I don't say anything because I don't really care. I'm doing my shopping. Leave me alone.

So a little later Manuel and I are standing in one of the aisles and there were onsies, and I say to him, "Surely she registered for onsies. Let me find them on the list."

After we find the ones she registered for and put them in the cart, Red shirt says, "Those onsies are cute but I want the plain ones. I can't see them anywhere."

I show her where they are. She says, "Oh thanks! I'm so used to shopping at WalMart, I can't find anything at this store."

Once again, I DON'T CARE! (Especially if you shop at WalMart. Eewww! I haven't set foot in there since the vomit incident, which a story for a whole nother time and place...)

Manuel and I HATE when people make idle chit chat. Like at the grocery store a few weeks ago, we got lots of juice because when we went to Disneyland with my parents, we were in charge of bringing beverages for the morning. The lady in front of us in line said, "Someone's thirsty."

SHUT UP! You don't think I know I'm buying lots of drinks?! Are you trying to impress me by showing me your powers of observation? What will impress me even more is if you mind your own business and keep you stupid little coments to yourself.

Maybe we're not people people. Maybe we're grouchy. Maybe we're not friendly. Maybe we're antisocial. Whatever. Keep your meaningless conversations to yourself.

Indulge me people.

OK. Now I am just going to abuse the fact that I have an audience. Please just read em and tell me what you all think. Good or bad either way. These are old and probably written in the middle of some Junior College class that I wasn't paying attention in anyways. So, let me have it.


CoolOne

Many a men have come before
Many a men will come after
But only I have that knowledge Of the notion of power
For power is knowing I am The one and only
Yet I am also insignificant to So many others
And I know that really doesn't matter
Only matter matters and that's all that matters


CoolTwo

One
One time. I knew what I was about.
One time. I knew what I wanted to do.
One time. I knew what lay ahead.
One time. I knew never to regret.
What if that one time had passed and you always regretted and you never forgot and you never forgave.
What if all you knew was that nothing is right and all else will fail.
What if you wanted to start over, but you couldn't.
What if you had no one.
Just one time.
I would like to hear someone say it.


CoolThree

In my defense I only lead with my heart and not with my head
In my defense It wasn't the place we were at, it was my weakness that I gave into
In my defense It was still HARD
In my defense You are running scared
In my defense This is a first for everything WE are doing
In my defense I am running out of time and I know if I don't spend every waking moment with you then I am truly missing out on heaven on earth.

Poetry is not my strong suit, but since I have managed to turn this place into my writers guild I guess I will just go with it. As usual people please remember to pay your respects this Sunday. The most sacred of days is upon us and we all must give at the alter of the WWE. You will get it soon. Rabble Rock!

Yard Work

You know it's time to pull the weeds in the backyard when they're tall enough that birds perch on them...

My Super Team

I have been wanting to do this post for a while. Let's say you had to pull off the perfect plan(heist, expedition, rescue, etc.), what characters in movies would you be choosing to form your perfect team? In a perfect team, you are going to need a bunch of different components, so which characters over the years would be the best choices to accomplish your goal? The perfect plan is probably going to require a LOT of people, so I am going to allow 12 in my plan. I won't include any super heroes as that would just make it too easy. This is who I came up with:

1. Keyser Soze - Every good team begins and ends with a good leader. A leader who both commands respect and has the intelligence to pull off the perfect plan. I don't believe anyone else fits this bill quite as well as Keyser Soze. Take this part from the movie and tell me someone else would be a better choice:

"He lets the last Hungarian go, waits until his wife and kids are in the ground, and then he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids. He kills their wives. He kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they live in, the stores they work in. He kills people that owe them money. And like that, he's gone. Underground. Nobody's ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. "Rat on your pop and Keyser Soze will get you." But no one ever really believes. Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God -- and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze." Easily, my leader...

2.Dutch - If you have some brains, you are going to need some brawn. Anyone who beat a Predator has to be tough enough for my group. Would you mess with him? "If it bleeds, we can kill it." Yeah, you're coming with me Dutch.








3.Marv - Every big team needs two enforcers. I wouldn't send in Dutch alone. Marv will definitely be an asset. Who is going to mess with my posse with these two guys leading the way?!?! Major asskickers!!!




4.Memphis Raines - My Driver. You need a guy who knows how to handle any car. You need a guy who can escape anyone in pursuit. There was not even a second thought as to who my driver would be. Sure, all 12 of my team won't fit inside Eleanor, but I'm sure he can handle any ride.





5. El Mariachi - You're going to have to have a guy who is a smooth talker, a ladies man, and an ass kicker all at once. Having El Mariachi on my team, with all his weaponry and ability to woo women is a good idea.







6.Mrs. Smith - If you have a male smooth talker, you need a femal one too. Mrs. Smith can woo the guys and then kick their ass. The guys won't know what hit them!





7.The Bride - Man or woman, she can kick ass. She can pretty much cut through anyone, anytime. Maybe she should even be up at the top with my brawny guys. She could give them a run.





8.Stanley Jobson - Every good team needs a good computer guy. Stanley will be able to pretty much crack anything. No technoloy will be too hard for him to understand. For some reason, this was the best picture I could find.






9. MacGyver - Why is he on the team? Because he is friggin' MacGuyver. I don't think I need to further explain myself.








10. Jason Bourne - This guy can do everything. Technology, covert operations, kicking ass. My whole team could go down and he still might be able to pull it off by himself. He is a one man army.






11. John Mason - On ever team, there is an old guy who has been there, done that. My old guy just happens to be able to still kick butt. He escaped from Alcatraz. He belongs on the team.







12.Doc Holliday - Finally, you need a good buddy. I guy who will follow you into hell. A guy who is absolutely dedicated to watching your butt and will be there through thick and thin. There is not a better sidekick than Doc. You have to feel safe with him watching your back.







There is my posse, my super group, my gang. I am sure I left someone important off so feel free to tell me who you would have included or omitted.

Why do I.......?

As usual, I come to the board to solidify the randomness in my mind. Ya see, all too often I find myself letting things slide that I actually like doing. I would like to tell myself that it is just procrastination and that makes me just as average as everyone else out there, but I prefer to arrive at another conclusion. I have discovered a lil narcissism and ego in my mind that tells me it's something else, so that I can stand out from the rest of yall.

For example, I like to fancy myself a writer. I have poor grammatical skills and I have a tendency to stray from the heart of the point, but a writer nonetheless. I know what you are asking yourself right now? What writing have you ever done Rich? We didn't notice. First of all, F U!. hehe jk More than likely if you are reading this you are one of the people that have actually read anything I have written. That being the case you must also notice that I go through stretches of not writing at all. I could say boredom or writer's block is what keeps me from blessing yall with my quips and witicisms, but that would be a lie. I guess it took the right person to be able to help me find what is wrong with how I go about things on a daily basis. It is all about the RIGHT motivation.

When I go unchallenged I have a tendency to marinate into my current situation. It brings about the ability to tell myself that I will get to it eventually. No finer example of this point exists like the time I completely half-assed my research paper for my senior year English class. Shout out to Mr. Bordeaux. Forgive me if I spelled your name incorrectly sir. I was the top student in the class. I even got an award signifying the accomplishment. Basking in all this as if it was my destiny to do well in my scholastic endeavors, I marinated and let it all slide. What resulted was a research paper that was written the night before it was to be handed in for grading. No heart and no motivation behind it, just simply scared into the duty of handing it in cause I was told to do so. As a result, the entire class was taught a lesson that took me until now to truly learn. I can still remember him saying it in class. It went something like....

"I would like to warn all of you graduating seniors that this is not the time to slack off and put aside your responsibilities. It can happen to the best of us. The student with the top grade in the class got a D on the research paper because he avoided his responsibilities. Don't let this happen to you."

Maybe that wasn't verbatim, but you get the point. I guess I just let that be a defining moment for too long cause I never actually turned it around into a positive. I continued doing just as I had done with that research paper with far too many things in my life. Perhaps it was because it was a secret embarrassment that I could continue the habits that led to this point in my life. I guess I should just apologize to Mr. Bordeaux for not getting it sooner. A teacher teaching and I just let it slide. I also owe Rebekah Brantingham an award. If I remember correctly, she was number two before the research paper. The only reason I got it was because they had a deadline for deciding who had the top grade before the whole ceremony and I was number one at that time. Least I get it now. Ya don't actually learn anything unless you go through it for real. Not a hidden embarrassment that only you know about, but something that forces you to adapt and overcome. With that I say the next time you see me just slap me across the back of the head and tell me it's about F'n time Rich. Better late than never right?

I will attempt to stay on course and write as much as possible. Hopefully I will someday actually write something good one of these days. Thank you for your time fellow blog patrons. As usual please spread the virus. Remember to put the toilet seat down once you are done with it and finish your veggies or no dessert for you. Or is it desert? I always forget. See what a private school education gets ya. :) Next time I will attempt to point out why there is no such thing as a true-story or non-fiction writing. I may be wrong, but it might still be worth reading. Rabble Rock!


P.S. Just had to for further proof of why she is my number one. Any girl that can flip me off and look like that doing it has my heart. Or is it another part of me? Ok so I am going way too adult and crass on everyone. I promise to tone it down. Maybe. :)

And another thing....

Anyone out there have a movie that they are completely embarrassed to admit that they like? One of those movies you know only 100 people saw when it came out in the theatres and that if you told anyone that you own a copy they would laugh at you mercilessly? I thought about it for a while and came up with mine.

Simply Irrresistible starring Sarah Michelle-Gellar and Sean Patrick Flanery

The story is goofy. It's just plain out there and for some reason it's just my favorite romantic lil flick in my world. I guess You take what you want from a story sometimes and I am solo on this bandwagon. I just wanna believe love is just goofy and magical. Damn too much on my mind. Rabble Rock people!

At "MOM's" request......

Number one. The undisputed number one gal. The anti-Britney. Christina Aguilera. Nevermind the many charting-topping songs she has blessed her voice with. Forget the fact that 50 years from now she will still have a career cause that voice is her most impressive talent. And put aside all false impressions you have from ONE song and video. This is that girl you take home to your parents and say can you believe she digs ME? This is that girl that you tell all your boys about cause there is no way they would ever one-up you. This is that down-ass chick that you leave your entire family for cause it's definitely worth the ride. Forgive my crass attitude and the picture to the left, but I am a single male who lives with two guys. CUT ME SOME SLACK!





Yes "Love Don't Cost a Thing" was not the greatest movie. But I will watch it again and again and again just to be able to see Christina Milian change up her style every five minutes and make every outfit look hotter than the last. Plus if you caught her in "Be Cool" then you know that she can sing too. I got a thing for women who can sing. Call it the ballad lover in me, but something about a soft velvety tone will always make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Yeah it happens to guys too. Deal with it!











This fine actress has graced us in "Boat Trip", "Chasing Papi", and "Rush Hour 2". So if you don't know her by name or face it is more than understandable. But, for my money it's the accent that always gets me with this gal. I'm guessing a theme is coming out from this list, but I'll let everyone else decide what that is. All I have to say is if I was gay she would turn me straight in a nano-second. Plus she makes a business suit look fierce and her dance moves are quite nice. Roselyn Sanchez everyone!!! Give her a round of applause.











Had to get one blonde on here. While Stacy Keibler may be more mainstream currently, Miss Trish Stratus is the WWE Diva I would choose to get into the ring with. The Anti-Lita. She went from eye-candy to the number one female in the business. She is athletic, charismatic, and simply stunning. Through her fitness magazines and her weekly appearances on cable TV she has made quite the life for herself. I can't hate the player or the game and I will (pardon my corniness) submit to her anyday.



A forgotten gal who just cracked her way back into the top five after she got a divorce from the crackhead she was married to for a year. Jamie Lynn-Sigler. Otherwise known as the princess of the well-known mafia family, The Sopranos. It's her voice, but for a different reason. It's just so damn cute. I mean this in a completely non-disgusting way. If she was my daughter she could make me do anything by batting her eyes and saying, "Please Daddy." That cute and innocent thang is working for me. And no that doesn't mean I wanna sleep with my daughter. Right? :)

That's it people. Now discuss this amongst yourselves and always remember get 8 hours of sleep every night. Don't forget to floss as well. Aren't ya glad ya asked MOM? :) Rabble Rock!

What part of "no food" don't you understand?!

Our policy in Labor and Delivery is not to feed anyone. Yeah, it's harsh, especially if you're in labor for, like, 12 or more hours, but there's good reason... First, if, God forbid, things went bad and we had to rush you to surgery, you wouldn't have a belly full of food. There's a reason they tell you not to eat past midnight the night before a surgery you may be having. Second, when your body is doing something as major as having a baby, the last thing it's thinking about is digesting a tummy full of food. If you put too much in your belly, your stomach isn't really going to be able to deal with it and it's going to give it back to you. There's enough vomiting involved with having a baby anyway, why add to it? It's no fun for you, and even less fun for those of us who have to clean it up.

With that in mind...

I had a patient last night who was being induced because her baby was over a week late. She mentioned she was hungry and looking forward to breakfast. Now I have to be the bad guy and tell her our policy. So I tell her that she's not allowed to eat, and I tell her why. She says, "Well, what if I have someone bring me some food from home?" Like it was a matter of us not wanting to feed her. I tell her again that that's not the issue, it's that she's not allowed to eat. She says, "What if I send my husband to the vending machines?" Obviously she's not getting it, so I try a different route. I say to her, "Anything you have to chew, you're not allowed to have." She seems to understand that and looks a little worried, so I explain to her that she can have juice. She seems to understand and I go to leave when she says to me, "What about crackers?"

Back on track

Well, I did what I had to do! In my last post, I said I needed to get my poker game back on track. I needed to play well. Saturday night, I accomplished my goal. Not only did I do well, but I won the whole damn tournament. Yeah, I won $140 which is great, but the win over my friends(who are all very good) was definitely the thing I needed. If I won 10 bucks, but still beat 8 other players, I would still feel just as good. I needed it to get some of my confidence back and I think I did what I needed to. I wish all my goals could be accomplished that quickly. I guess my next poker goal would be to do well in my next tournament. A friend is having a 27 player tournament on Saturday, and although I don't need to win, I would like to just do well. We'll see...

Ummmm....wow!

While reading through my celeb gossip sites last night, I learned about this girl, Melissa Theuriau, who is supposedly the hottest newsgirl in the world. I decided to find some pictures and OH MY GOD!!! This girl is gorgeous! Apparently she does the news in France and after seeing some pictures, I have to agree. What's the best part? In one of the pictures, she is talking about SOCCER! Yup, she is SO on my top five now. I showed Jess the pics and even she said, "Wow!" So, what do you think? Guys who read but don't post, what do you think? Don't be shy...

Disneyland

Been over a week since I posted something- sorry about that. Life has been pretty hectic. My first non-referral sale closed on Wednesday so the last week or so before it was really crazy. I don't know how agents who have 5 or 6 deals at once do it because I was going crazy! Alas, it closed and it called for a celebration. What better way to celebrate than by going to Disneyland. Actually, the trip was planned way before the deal came about, but it sure was a nice reward.

Jess and I left for Disneyland with her dad and stepmom on Wednesday night for three great days in the Magic Kingdom. Most of Thursday was spent at California Adventures, Disney's other theme park there. It was my first time there and I was not disappointed. It is a little smaller than I thought, but it had some great rides including the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. That is a FUN ride. The latter half of the day, we park hopped over to Disneyland and rode some rides including the new and improved Space Mountain. They really did a good job with it. Very fun and the new soundtrack is great. Friday we also spent in Disneyland with Saturday being a light day of a few rides and some shopping. One bad thing was that Pirates of the Carribean was closed the whole time. It is closed until June while they add some Johnny Depp character to the ride. I am sure it will be cool, but it was disappointing not to be able to ride it. Overall, the parks were pretty empty as it wasn't really a holiday season and the weather wasn't that great. It was FREEZING. It was supposed to rain the majority of the trip, but we only got about 1 good hour of rain on Friday morning. There was actually hail in that hour. Other than that though, the weather wasn't too bad, but enough to keep some people home. The only bad part was that it was windy which kept them from doing the 50th anniversary fireworks show. That really bummed us out as it is supposed to be great. What can you do though? Overall, it was a great trip and I already wish I could go back.

So with that and my escrow out of the way, it is time to focus on more business. I am supposed to meet with the couple that want to list their house with me sometime this week. They told me to call back when I got back from vacation. I called them yesterday, but I have yet to receive a call back. Hopefully, this is going to happen really soon. At least I now have my own desk! That was fun.

In addition to work, I need to get my poker game back on track. Last year I was player of the year and this year I just can't get my game on track. I have made very little money and I always seem to finish in the middle of the pack. I need a good win to get me going again because this losing things really sucks. We'll see if I can start something good this weekend...

The Oscars

Oh, where do we begin, where do we begin...

I guess we should start with the biggest disappointment. The film that won Best Picture was Crash. I know in the review post I said I'd be ok with it if it won. I was wrong. Dead wrong. I was devastated. It was an ok movie, but it wasn't better than Brokeback Mountain. It WAS NOT the best picture of the year. Manuel and I sat completely still, mouths agape when it was announced. It honestly occurred to me to stop watching the Oscars after this traveshamockery (travesty, sham, mockery).

It was SUPER uncool to cut off the speech for the people who came to the stage representing Crash after it won. Best Picture is only the biggest category, let the people have their time in the spotlight.

I HATED, LOATHED and DESPISED the fact that background music played during the acceptance speeches. I found it VERY distracting. So distracting, in fact, that I tuned out the vast majority of the speeches. I tend to tune out most of the acceptance speeches anyway, but I found the background music more of a reason to do so.

Most of the dresses looked nice. Charlize Theron's dress looked terrible. What was that thing on her shoulder? My dad said it perfectly when he said, "That's a big ass bow!" You know what it looked like?A pillow on her shoulder! It was there in case she got bored she could lay her head down and take a nap. It was disappointing coming from someone who is usually so beautiful.

And what was with the guy who won whatever it was for Brokeback Mountain? See, I don't even remember what he won for because I was so appalled that he was wearing jeans! He had a tux on top and jeans on the bottom! Hello? It's only the biggest night in Hollywood! Couldn't you find something a little more fitting to wear?!

Did you see Jennifer Garner almost fall?

Jon Stewart did a fantastic job. I don't really know him - I don't watch The Daily Show so I didn't know what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised. He was funny without seeming to try too hard. I'd be pleased if he hosted again.

So there it is, our Oscar review. We welcome your comments and opinions.

ROCKY TEASER TRAILER!!!!

If you have been reading my blog, you know I am jazzed about the upcoming Rocky movie. Well, the teaser trailer is HERE!!! Like a good teaser, it doesn't give anything away about the movie, but just gets you excited. This one gave me chills!!! Check it out and please let me know what you think...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5II-BBVQMvU&search=Rocky%20Balboa