What part of "no food" don't you understand?!

Our policy in Labor and Delivery is not to feed anyone. Yeah, it's harsh, especially if you're in labor for, like, 12 or more hours, but there's good reason... First, if, God forbid, things went bad and we had to rush you to surgery, you wouldn't have a belly full of food. There's a reason they tell you not to eat past midnight the night before a surgery you may be having. Second, when your body is doing something as major as having a baby, the last thing it's thinking about is digesting a tummy full of food. If you put too much in your belly, your stomach isn't really going to be able to deal with it and it's going to give it back to you. There's enough vomiting involved with having a baby anyway, why add to it? It's no fun for you, and even less fun for those of us who have to clean it up.

With that in mind...

I had a patient last night who was being induced because her baby was over a week late. She mentioned she was hungry and looking forward to breakfast. Now I have to be the bad guy and tell her our policy. So I tell her that she's not allowed to eat, and I tell her why. She says, "Well, what if I have someone bring me some food from home?" Like it was a matter of us not wanting to feed her. I tell her again that that's not the issue, it's that she's not allowed to eat. She says, "What if I send my husband to the vending machines?" Obviously she's not getting it, so I try a different route. I say to her, "Anything you have to chew, you're not allowed to have." She seems to understand that and looks a little worried, so I explain to her that she can have juice. She seems to understand and I go to leave when she says to me, "What about crackers?"