As promised

Wrestlemania 22 is in a few hours and this is my pre-post so as to be able to say I said it would happen first before anyone else did. Honestly, this post is just about me so if you care to turn away from the screen I can understand completely cause what follows is about 5-10 minutes of complete adolescent nonsense. In order of what I believe the lineup will be......

United States Championship
Chris Benoit vs. JBL
The Rabid Wolverine will defend his title against the Wrestling God. JBL is truly one of the worst wrestlers I have ever seen pushed through the roof in order to make us fans believe he is worth our time. I don't hate him cause he does things that make me hate him, as a good heel would. I just hate him cause he sucks. Benoit, on the other hand, is an elite wrestler and can be depended on to carry a lardass like JBL through any kind of match in order to kick off the show. Cause JBL will always need help to get over he will take this one and get booed out of the building by yours truly.

Winner and new U.S. Champ, JBL

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle in a Playboy Pillow Fight
Two women who have posed nude in playboy are being rolled out for 5-10 minutes of just plain nonsense.

Winner Candice Michelle

Boogeyman vs. Booker T & Sharmell
The 5-time WCW champ and his girlfriend are going up against the most disgusting WWE superstar in years in the Boogeyman. It's a nice lil gimmick and all, but does the Boogeyman really need to eat worms every freaking time he comes to the ring? This is a bathroom break match-up. WHO CARES?

Winner Booker T and Sharmell

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Rather than go over each of the 6 men in this match I will simply make my prediction for what should happen. Everyone's favorite wrestler, Mr. PPV, Rob Van Dam needs this more than anyone else in this match. He is the most talented and gifted athlete the WWE has and his time has come to be given a shot at the top guys. His window is closing and if they do not give him the opportunity he needs he will be one of those almost guys that never was. The best play would be to have RVD win the match and cash in his newly won world title shot the next night on RAW. The world title has not changed hands on a Raw in years and this would be a very exciting way to get the fans going after the biggest show of the year.

Winner RVD

Big Show & Kane vs. Chris Masters & Carlito for the World Tag Team
Championship
4 people I could do without. Masters and Carlito need something to do since they are currently out fo the singles picture.

Winners Masters and Carlito

Edge vs. Mick Foley (Hardcore Match)
Please let it be Mick Foley's night. I dispise Edge so much. Pardon my language, but I soooo don't give a FUCK about you and your girlfriend and you two kissing everytime you are on screen. Edge is proof that if you yell loud enough and bitch about it long enough that it still won't make you worth the time it takes to listen to your rambling. It is so forced and worthless. I miss Christian. Foley is the Hardcore legend and I wish they would give him this one, but Edge is going to be there everyday and they can't cut him off at the legs by giving him this big of a defeat at the big show.

Winner Edge

Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women's Championship
Trish Stratus is the only reason to watch females wrestle. nevermind her gorgeous looks, she is a legit wrestler and in this case has a foe worthy of a match at WM22. We shall see if they can pull it all off, but I believe that between the good storyline and the in-ring capabilities that this will be worth taking a seat and giving a viewing.

Winner and new Women's Champion Mickie James

Mr. McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels in a No Holds Barred Match
HBK has been getting screwed over and over again by Vince. HBK is going to steal the show and do the damn thing.

winner HBK

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry (Casket Match)
The Undertaker is 13-0 in Wrestlemania matches. No one can lay claim to such a record and this is without a doubt going to rival his match with the Big Bossman as one of his worst WM matches of all-time. If Mark Henry beats the Undertaker and breaks his win streak at Wrestlemania I will do one favor for each and every person who responds to the posting. That is a promise.

Winner The Undertaker

World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton
I hate the WWE for this match. It would have gone off just fine if they left it alone and gave Rey Mysterio a one on one match up with Kurt Angle, but NOOOOO. They have to include Orton for some reason. He wasn't in the picture at all, he is coming off an injury, and I do not know why the WWE is in love with the self-procliamed Legend Killer. They just couldn't make Angle look weak and let him lose to Rey rey in a one-on-one situation. Orton is gonna lose this match to Mysterio. Angle won't lose any credibility since he didn't not actually take the pinfall or submit. Blah blah. Fing WWE. Let Rey have his moment legit.

Winner and new World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio

John Cena vs. Triple H for the WWE Championship
The Main event of the evening. The 10-time world champ vs. The Dr. of Thuganomics. Now I am a big fan of Cena, but he has reached a breaking point with the fans that is similar to what the Rock use to go through. If you do something for too long, they begin to hate you for being too scripted and cuddly. We respected you cause of your badass attitude and your edgy behavior. Now you are a character who does the same things every time. HHH is the measuring stick for every big time wrestler in the industry. They must go through him to become a legit MAN in the business. HHH should make it number 11 tonight. It would be a different ending to a WM then we have had over the past few years. It has always ended on a good note. Not this time baby.

Winner and new WWE Champ HHH

The surpises tonight will be appearances by Bret Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan and Stephanie McMahon. Or so I think.