Day 30

It all fell apart. Not the initial goal. That still stands. everything else has turned on me in a manner that I did not anticipate.

I am selfish and self-destructive. I am a addict without the addiction part. I had one beer today and had to stop cause I am such a freaking lightweight. I had to go to my email to see the pictures my phone would not show me yesterday. The pictures made me sad cause I couldn't help but smile while looking at em. Figure that line out folks. I am becoming jealous of a website for the wrong reasons. I know I don't have a inner fire in me about this writing thang. I have a need to get feedback. And my feedback is not good enough for me to feel inspired. I should be better than that, but I am not. This sorta emotional expression that releases my soul of it's inner turmoil does nothing for me anymore. I have no poem and no witty monologue. I know that somehow I will get some sympathy for all this, but if everyone is honest they shouldn't show me any of that. Cause I am questioning myself as well as my readers. I am writing the same post that I wrote 15 times before. I didn't get to go to Root Beer Float day. The more I see him the more I don't care. I more I see Larry the more I do care. My sportsfan heart should be smiling and overriding all this. The dynasty has life once again. The same thing can't happen next year. I got plenty of happy wishes on my 29th year, but I just keep looking at the same damn picture.

"Just a pic wishing you a HB."

Damn the invention of picture messaging on the cell phone. Good thing I tried to save money this month by cancelling my messages package for my cell phone. GENIUS!

I have only a few more left in me. A few posts that I have thought about for awhile and should serve to quench my thirst for it. Whatever "IT" is anyways.