Hopefully this actually comes out of my head properly cause if it doesn't I may just turn a lot of people off. Thanks to Michael Richards for the inspiration. I don't approve of what he did, but for some reason this popped in my head. This will probably be the last time I talk in such a manner.
I, in my life, have used exactly one racial slur. I was 18 and in a Chicago hotel lobby with my friend Matt. For the purposes of the story I add that my friend Matt is White. For some reason that truly shows my lack of ignorance I stated to my friend that, "I felt like a freaking mully," as we waited in line. My friend Matt looked shocked and asked me, "Do you know what that means?" I honestly did not at the time. I don't know why it came out as much as it was just an exasperation with the long travel and because I had heard only one place ever in my life. Eddie Murphy said it in his comedy concert titled "RAW." I, at the time, was pretty young when I saw the film and didn't make the connection that mully was basically an Italian form of saying niggar. Even right now I'm not a hundred percent sure that is the exact translation, but if I recall that is what my friend Matt told me right away. At the time we were traveling 4 deep into a hotel room and one of matt's friends and one of my new acquaintances was a black guy. He wasn't around when I made my statement, so nothing ever came of that. Needless to say I walked around that entire day feeling like a fool. Even today my reason for even saying it sounds lame. I heard it in a movie once and never used the word until that moment? I just plain didn't know what it meant and felt it was ok to use because I saw one of my favorite comedians use the term. I was so ignorant that I used it to describe myself. I, for the record, am a Filipino-Irish-German fella which makes me the opposite of a Mully. If that is even how you spell the damn word. Deep down I always had this feeling that my friend Matt always looked at me differently from that day on. Did just simply saying the word Mully make me a racist?
I prefer to think that it was just my ignorance and lack of knowledge that led to that moment in time. Regardless of intent it still sticks out to me as a memory burn. My question now after the event at the Laugh Factory and my memory included is do we give words way too much power?
Comedian George Carlin once concluded in a famous bit of his that it's not the racists words coming out of a guy's mouth that makes him a racists. Instead, it's the racists asshole saying them that makes him a racists. Perhaps not as clear cut when being recycled out of my mouth, but hopefully you get the point. Terms like Niggar, Mully, Cunt...etc......Just words. I have no experience having to bear the brunt of being called any one of these terms, so I may just sound very naive. Aren't they just words? I have been insulted plenty of times in my life and snapped at lesser terms than the ones I just described. By no means am I saying that people are expected to not react to insensitive and hurtful remarks. But what if we really treated words as just words?
What if, after Michael Richards explosion the people in the balcony had no response? Instead, they just simply sighed, smiled and shook their head at a pathetic man who was so fed up with being heckled that all he could do was pulled out the insult atom bomb. Sure they had every right to get mad and leave the facility. People have every right to take offence at Richards' tirade. What if they had just killed the power of the word by not saying a damn thing? I know there is a sordid past and for the longest time it has meant nothing but bad things to a whole lot of people. In my theoretical world I would suggest doing this to every insulting and degrading word. Not just Niggar. I am not here to free the use of the word for everyone simply because I alone don't take offence to many insults. I have not been practicing what I am currently preaching, so I don't have any empirical evidence handy. I will though. Next time I am in that situation I will sigh, smile and shake my head disapprovingly. Cause calling me a worthless lazy mother fucker doesn't indeed make me that. Just cause Michael Richards called a group of black people niggars does not indeed make them niggars. And ladies, just cause some jerk calls you a bitch or a whore or cunt, does not make you any of those things. They are all still just words.
Maybe I am being liberal and idealistic. Naive for sure. What if? What if people didn't respond to racial slurs, sexists remarks or otherwise unsavory language? They would not lose their meaning, but wouldn't they lose the power we have given them over time? The FCC and other forms of censoring groups are policing the words we use and the way we use them to protect from how powerful they are to us, but are they really that powerful? Would the world come to a screetching halt cause some radio DJ referred to a caller as cock? I'm not saying this would stop hate. Maybe it would just put words in a slightly better perspective.
I know I may have lost a lot of people with this. Honesty has ruined my life before. I guess I will just let all of you decide for me cause I am in no place to judge my actions or thoughts. I am biased. I kinda like me. And I kinda like people. So if you find fault in who I am please respond. I think I am still the same dude that I was before I wrote this. I'd provide more history for you, but that just seems like me attempting to justify my mistake. I am not sorry for being a racist cause I am not a racist. I am sorry for being an ignorant fool who lemminged his way into saying what I saw on TV without actually getting it. This post was after all about the power of words. I say give it a try sometime. Deflate the power of an insult instantly. Smile and walk away from it. Maybe then words can just be words. And people can just be people.
Shout out to Opie and Anthony and Lil Jimmy Norton. You guys actually make me think outside the box and this post is for you. Special hello to Cassie as well. Just cause you are engaged doesn't mean I am going to stop being my charming self. And I have to state that for the record I got clearance to deliver the package. :) Then again after this post I might be exiled into blogdom hell for all eternity, so no one will get that package. Spread the virus! Rabble Rock!
9 comments:
I agree that most swear words are really just words and that people shouldn't really take offense to them. The main problem with racial slurs is that many are so deep rooted in history that many just simply can't ignore them anymore. As much as I swear and think swear words are just words, I cringe when I hear racial slurs. I wish I could just laugh, but if soomeone called me a spic, i would be offended.
Good post. And I totally agree about the difference between words and the people saying them, though sometimes I think it's hard to make the distinction.
First off, you aren't a racist! Secondly, I do agree with what you are trying to say, but I disagree overall. Words aren't just words, there's a quote that I love (made infamous through SNL), "the pen is mightier than the sword." I honestly believe that, and sometimes it isn't just the words we use, it's the way we use them. I wish we could walk away when people say dumb hurtful things, but then is it right to not tell them they are wrong, because then they will just continue their actions and hurt others? Of course there are differing circumstances (many times it is best to walk away and say nothing!), but I understand people getting angry with Richards, he insulted a whole race of people, denigrated their history and their collective suffering. Great post, glad you are so honest with your thoughts!
People win Pulitzer Prizes for the way they put words together. Words are our way of communicating and they are very important. Words put together in a certain way can bring you laughter, tears, anger and even shame. Richards said words that are so despicable they cannot be forgiven. The words are in his vocabulary or they would not have come out in anger. We must take responsibility for the words we use and pay the price when they injure. This is a good post but I must disagree that it would be nice to just walk away and ignore the words. Our society cannot condone racism by actions or speech. We must take a stand and disapprove loudly.
Being Mexican I know about words. In Mexico us commoners use words as a double standard we call it "albur" (don't ask me to transalate). Anyway words are double sided, the way I may cuss at someone like a friend is totally different if I cuss at someone I wish to offend and I didn't have to change the words or the order of the words, but the tone in how I said it. I love Eddie Murphy's movies but always hated his commedy because he relys too much on obcenities. I guess the moral to your story should be "If in doubt don't say it" or as we say in Mexico "Flyes can't get into closed mouths"
Hello Rich,
First very good post. As I always say to you, your posts really get me thinking, but with this post I know what I'm thinking but I'm not to sure I'll be able to explain it by typing it out. I don't have that amazing skill like you.
Words are words and to me I'm so used to hearing racial slurs that most of them don't bother me. It seems that with people my age now some of us take the words seriously, but others of us just say the words but don't really mean to hurt people by saying them. When I was in highschool the N word was always used and I know white boys who hang out with Mike that use that word on a constant basis, but it's not to insult people it's because they use it in a friendly way. They talk to their black friends like that. That is just how they talk to each other.
Another thing is that really I don't get offended if someone calls me a bitch or anything else like cunt for example. I know that word bothers a lot of people, but it really doesn't bother me. Words get thrown around way too much these days and most of them don't intend to harm people. With my friends cussing is like a daily thing and sadly obsenities are part of our regulary vocabulary. But that doesn't mean that I am any less educated or that I'm a bad person it's just how people my age are these days.We say bad words but it's not to offend people. I don't really know if any of this makes sense but I hope at least someone gets it.
Oh and Rich I'm waiting for my package and you can keep being your charming self.
Rich - good post, as always. There is also that old saying we learned in grade school - "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names (or words) will never hurt me." I agree that the same word can be used in fun and it can be used in hatred. I do also believe that this word has to have been in his vocabulary or else it might not have come out so easily. I say it was a terrible thing that he did and said and he should have never said it but lets also place blame on the people that got him to that point. Shame on them as well. They might not have directed or said anything racial but their words were equally wrong. What gives them the right to heckle him the way he did - disrespecting him! It was a big deal when Mel Gibson made his mistake - it's an even bigger deal now that Richards has made his mistake - the media is also taking advantage and the NAACP. Let it go, take his apology, and let's move on!
Wow, I'd never heard the word "mully" either...
Anyway, I think that people who use racist language intentionally should be made aware of the consequences of their actions: mainly other's dissatisfaction with them and their behavior, and possible ostracism that may arise from their attitudes.
However, once the offender has apologized and demonstrated true remorse (this includes no more offenses in the future), the offended victims of his/her rage need to adapt a "forgive and forget if you can, but definitely let it go" attitude. Here's why: when you stay angry or offended at something someone has said or done, the only person it hurts at this point is yourself. You are carrying the baggage long after the offender has committed the offense. This kind of lingering anger can cause a multitude of health problems - this applies to any situation in life that we dwell on too much. Accept that the other person did wrong, acknowledge your feelings about it, then let it go. It's better for YOUR health.
Thanks for this post, you're right on. Saying something racist against a particular individual or group of people who have pissed him off does not make him a racist. A man can, for instance, be upset at one particular woman and call her bitch because he wants to hurt that person's feelings -- not because he has something against all women and thinks they're all bitches, and goes around calling them that. In the same way a guy can be upset at an African-American individual, or group of African-American people, and use the N word to hurt them back. Stupid and rude as it is it's not necessarily racist. It's ok to fight against the use of such offensive words, but not at the expense of giving up on trying to understand those who still use them. Saying anyone who lashes out like he did is a racist is crying wolf, and that's one of the reasons why people care less and less about political correctness, because it's one false alarm after another.
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