It's me. It's me. The same old G. Back to do damage to your brainwaves. The night time word crafter has ended his self-imposed exile to partake of your time. To rob you of precious seconds in your life that will never be recovered. What follows is a public service announcement. I am not the expert movie critic in this here blogdom (blog+kingdom equals blogdom. I created a word. Feel free to steal it and use it for your own benefit). I will just simply use my access to the public to offer these words of advice.
DO NOT SEE MIAMI VICE
I was privileged enough to go to the sneak preview of this epic piece of garbage this past Tuesday. I got into a movie for free and I wanted to walk out after an hour of punishment. I tend to overdue my emotions, but even after some time away from the crime scene I still feel robbed of my valuable time. It is not the acting. It is not the cinematography. Not having the original theme song from the 80's TV show was a disappointment. IT JUST WENT NOWHERE. If you watch the first 5- 10 minutes, leave, and then watch the final 15 minutes you will accomplish the exact same thing as I did by sitting through all 2+ hours of this unfortunate work of art.
I will admit to not ever really watching the TV show, so I can not comment on how the two compared. That said, after seeing this movie I have no desire to see any of the TV show. Frankly, Bad Boys 2 and the TV series Fastlane did this story quite well already and Miami Vice tried to do the same thing and fell flat on it's face. If I wanted to watch a porno, I would have skipped the 5 or so scenes of softcore Skinamax in Vice and gone to my local adult store and made a purchase. If I wanted to watch a bunch of impressive backdrops of Miami, I would have gone to Miami and seen them in person. And if I wanted to listen to an hour and half of meaningless banter between people I don't give a flying F about I would call up my cousins Darvi and Chris to discuss how DIFFICULT there lil lives are. Save your money people and walk away. Go see Clerks 2. Pillow Pants lives people and THAT"S beautiful MAN!
In closing I say this. Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski owe me 40 bucks for that piece of crap they produced at UFC 61. Christina Aguilera drops her 3rd album on August 15th people. GET IT! If you ever go to one Oakland A's game then check out Root Beer Float day. Once a year people it is heaven on earth. Ebay is ruining my credit report. Going Bald sucks. And if anyone is interested I have a 32 oz root beer float mug signed by 4 Raiderette cheerleaders up for sale. $50 OBO. Spread the virus.
11 comments:
I'm sure it will be a big hit. I saw a couple of the pre-release promos on the late night shows. one after another, the cast and crew dodged questions about this movie and the TV show. After 4 or 5 of those, I decided that they were just hanging on the coattails of a cheesy 80's show... and making an extended Simon and Simon episode. Yawn
I just wondering about you the other day. Glad you are back and thanks for the warning.
Ouch. I thought it would be excellent. But what can you do? It's an overplayed genre.
Wow, just wait until my mom sees this post. She was a HUGE Miami Vice fan and is going to see the film right after work on Friday. This review might crush her - but still not keep her from seeing it. Pillow Pants BABY!!!
Guess I need to see "Clerks." And then I need to see "Clerk, II." Pillow Pants? That sounds funny!
I never did like Miami Vice. I didn't watch it. I didn't think those guys were fine, at all. I think I was more into Duran Duran, or The Cure, or something teenagery. I was going to see the movie because this is the first time I feel Colin Farrell looks fine, but I think I'll just look at the advertisements. Two + hours?! Damn!
Sorry, Nana.
Al - Never seen Clerks?!?! Rent it, rent it now!! And don't let anyone under 18 see it!
Rich, first I would like to start off by saying I'm glad you're back - at least for this one blog. I've missed you! But... Manuel was right - you have absolutely crushed me and yes, I am still going to see it - I have too! I was and still am a BIG, no HUGE, Miami Vice fan. Rich you should see the shows - they are cheesy but that was the 80's and that is what makes it so great! The original movie was terrific. Without having seen it I am worried that it is going to be just another cop show - unless they 1) use the same music. 2) they are still looking for Calderon, and 3) the ORIGINAL song is in it not just a cheesy new updated version. Why bother making a movie called Miami Vice if they aren't going to duplicate what made it such a hit. Oh well - I guess I just have to go see and be disappointed or by a miracle will love it - I'll let you know.
I'm not surprised that you didn't like Miami Vice ( the TV show). You were like 5. Right? I'll see the movie like I see all my movies, at home.
As you know I was a little leary to see Miami Vice because of the reviews and because of Rich's comments. But, I had to see it anyway because I am such a big fan! I'm glad I did! I loved it!!! For me, and my husband, who watched every episode of Miami Vice, Michael Mann produced a movie that followed Miami Vice in in the same format as the original movie and tv shows. Of course, it didn't have a Calderon character, but that was okay because there is a new character who grabs you. The dialogue can be considered lame but that is Miami Vice. The original was never about the script or acting - it was the cinematography and songs, etc. If you are a true fan, you will love it!
OK Chris. We'll see it when it comes out on DVD. We were never huge fans like you guys, but we did watch from time to time.
Hmm I love the idea behind this website, very unique.
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