October 2nd Can't Come Fast Enough

First the good news: I got the insurance thing figured out - and it won't cost me a penny! If I work for the hospital for just a single day in October, I'm covered for the entire month. So, instead of 9/30 being my last day, I'm going to work 10/1. It sucks that I'm not going to get a day off before I start my new job 10/2, but sometimes you have to sacrifice for the greater good. It'll be worth it. Way to screw the system on my way out! Yeah!

Now, about my patient today...

She was 18 going on 12. A total immature brat. BRAT. It's harsh, but completely accurate when I say that I HATED her by the end of the day. HATED her.

When I first got her at 7 this morning, she was still not admitted. We were waiting to see if she was really in labor. Her baby didn't look good enough to take off the monitor, so I told her I'd watch her closely and the second it looked ok, I'd take the monitors off so she could walk. Her response? Silence. I asked her if that was ok. Nothing. I finally said, "Can I have some form of acknowledgement so I know you understand what I'm saying?" She said, rolling her eyes, "Fine. God. I have nothing to say to you."

And that's how we started our day together.

It only got better from there. "Get me a blanket." No "thank you." I got her an epidural. No "thank you." "Get me some juice." No "thank you." Ungrateful little bitch.

And here's the doosey. When she was 10 cm and ready to push, her epidural wasn't working as well as it had been, and she was feeling pain. At this point, it wasn't worth my calling the anesthesiologist to come give her extra medicine because she'll just have the baby and it'll be a waste. So we start pushing. Most women are relieved to push. She pushed real well for about 10, 15 minutes, then all of a sudden decided she was done. Now, instead of pushing with each contraction, she screamed. And screamed this awful, heart-wrenching, blood-curdling scream. I encouraged the hell out of her - you get this baby out and the pain will stop, only you can do this, everyone gives up now, you can do this - you ARE doing this, etc etc etc. Each word of encouragement was met with a scream of, "I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!" The thing is, she was SOOOOOOOOO close to pushing that baby out. Honestly, if she just sacked up, she could have pushed the kid out in 5 contractions and been done with it. If I was in excrutiating pain and knew there was something I could do to end it, I'd friggin do it!

I encouraged her, her family encouraged her, and she stubbornly kept screaming. I finally tried the good cop bad cop approach and got a little rough with her. I said, "Listen, if you don't push this kid out, you're going to be in pain and be pregnant forever." Her response? She yelled at me, "I DON'T FUCKING CARE."

"Then neither do I," I said as I took my gloves off. I covered her up and told her to call me when she was ready to push, then closed the door to her room on my way out so we didn't have to hear her scream.

Although we still could.

Finally another nurse went in there, tried, and eventually got her to sack up and get the job done. And you know what pissed me off the most? When the baby was finally out, everyone, including the doctor, told her what a good job she did.

What? Were we interacting with the same screaming, cussing patient? Why didn't they just tell her the truth - You were rude and obnoxious, you immature little shit. You have a rude awakening coming, taking care of that newborn.

But how trying was that? I work my ass off for her, getting her things, making her comfortable, encouraging the hell out of her, and NOT ONCE did I get a thank you.

Yeah, the new job can't come fast enough...