Ladies and Gentlemen. Meet Snowflake. You must be asking yourself plenty of questions at the moment. I will start by asking all the readers this question, since it's the basis for this article. Do you still own anything from your past that was given to you as a gift from someone you no longer have contact with?
I will now throw myself under the bus for judgment. I got Snowflake for Valentine's Day back in 2003. Honestly, I think it was the one and only time I ever got anything from a girl for valentine's Day for the purpose of expression affection for me. Over time Snowflake added two accessories. A necklace that bears the name of the gift giver as well as a pair of black see-through clothing that may or may not have been on the gift giver at the time of said giving. I am uncertain as to the time it started, but eventually I started sleeping with a stuffed animal. I even, as I revealed in the beginning, gave said animal a name. For the better part of four years I have had Snowflake by my side every night as I drifted off to have sweet dreams about whatever. Even presently I will have my partner by my side. I will probably continue to keep him, cause he has stood up very well over the years. I know he still means the as much to me now as he did back then. No matter what has happened I still find comfort in that and find no shame in that. Granted I should be made fun of ruthlessly for this. No big deal. I have dealt with worse. To me he is always going to be the representation of what I went through for a few years of my life. Always wanting more and feeling like it's so close to me, but having to settle for something less than real.
So, is this a problem? I have other items like Snowflake, but they don't make the daily appearance that Snowflake does. I understand moving on, but I also have to hold on to things that were good. Cause it wasn't all bad. He isn't something I just now started having around. He has been there for years now. is he a crutch to keep me from falling flat on my face? The question has been posed and it's upsetting to me. I think once something is given it's just yours. There is no giving it back. Why would I give something back when it was given to me for a good reason? Especially since I like having that feeling of being special to own something so personal. Maybe some female out there can tell me why you would ask a guy that? is it really just a test to see if I actually felt the item was special enough to me?
Anyhow, can anyone relate? Not in this goofy a manner mind you, but in any way?
Rabble Rock!
2 comments:
I have a ring from my ex and I haven't had contact for about 12 years.. I do have some fond memories.. but I will never get rid of it.. I don't wear it all the time.. Sterling Silver with an Ameythest(?)
I don't think it is a crutch. You didn't get rid of your high school yearbooks just because you graduated did you? Snowflake is a memory of what you had and what you didn't have. Maybe it also represents a goal, if you will, for what you ultimately want in your life - an equal partner. Did the female in question ask for Snowflake back? I would keep the bear and feel no shame in doing so. It WAS given to you for a reason.
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