Day 88

My attitude problem.

I have discussed it before on this blog. I address it tonight cause of something I watched a while back. I have a video tape. It is from 2002 or 2003. It was given to me by a friend who had another friend record a basketball game we played. It was the championship game of a Roseville rec league we had joined. To jump right to the suspenseful part, I only got a copy of the tape because of what I did at the end of the game. 12 second left in the game and my team is down by a margin of three points. The opposition made the back end of a double bonus trip to the free throw line and we were out of timeouts. We inbounded the ball and one of my teammates dribbled across half court. He got the the three point line and got trapped. I was trailing the play and saw my teammate on the left wing pass the ball to one of our post men at the top of the key. He, in turn, quickly gave a touch pass backwards to me and from about 25 feet (I have the tape it's not an exaggeration) I shot and made the game-tying three pointer with about 4 seconds left on the clock. We went on to win the game in overtime and thus we captured what was at the time our second such rec championship. Proud moment, right?

Time to go inside the mind of someone who was mentally checked out before he even laced up his basketball shoes. This is where the attitude comes in. Forget the final 13 seconds of regulation of the game. I am going to focus on everything that happened prior to that shot. As I watched the entire game I could remember exactly where my head was at as I was out there. I especially could remember what I felt right after we won and everyone congratulated me for making that shot. I was cynically relieved. I finally did something to help the team cause I spent the majority of the game hurting the squad. Even through this crap quality tape you could read my body language and know there was something wrong with the idiot with bright yellow shoes on. Nike Hyperflights by the way. Think Jason Williams bright purple shoes back when he played with the Sacramento Kings. Back to the point. I was not having fun. I didn't really enjoy the shot or the victory. I was just an asshole. I was lazy on the court as if I didn't even want to be out there. I was in bad shape, so I picked my spots for when I would attempt something requiring athletic effort. To make things worse I was the point guard for the team. I was suppose to be leading the team. I was suppose to be in charge or myself and the other 4 people out there. Instead I played like half a man and easily kept the other team in the game with my poor decision making, bad shot selection and lackluster defense. This is what it looked like to play with an "I'm better than you" attitude and not prepare to back any of that up.

I am actually getting mad about it as I write this. I had fooled myself into believing I had accomplished something that night. I kept the lie up to myself for awhile after cause I could just play the last minute of the game and show that one moment of luck. I call it luck nowadays. My shot form was horrible. My head wasn't in the shot. I just put it up and it happened to go in. I now know I deserve no accolades for that moment in time. Cause I took too long to learn the real lesson from that game. Have fun. That's what I did this past Sunday. No matter the outcome and the many things that went wrong with that day, once the final buzzer blows it's over. You gave what you had for those 40 minutes and could walk away. I immediately could point to things I could do better after this past Sunday's game. One thing I don't have to worry about as much is my attitude. I am not entitled to a damn thing. I am not mentally frail. I am not an afterthought. I am not a back-up. Just be happy. Knock the chip off your shoulder and get on with life.

By the way Cassie, Happy Birthday. Your gift is once again in the mail. Hold your breathe till it arrives. :) Rabble Rock!